Today was a tornado. Trent is really feeling the effects of the chemo. His whole body hurts. He is super tired. He can't keep anything down. The whole world spins in his head. He can't calm his thoughts. It is awful. He feels so bad that he is inconveniencing everyone. Typical Trent. Then the next minute he is irritated that the whole world hasn't stopped because he has cancer. Those drugs are really playing with his minds because that is NOT Trent.
He is getting sooooo tired of being in the hospital. So I jumped up early this morning and opened all the blinds to let in a bunch of sunshine. But pretty soon we got a severe thunderstorm warning and had to close them again. Then right about dinner time there were tornado warnings all over southeast Nebraska. We watched the progress on TV and I opened the blinds so we could see what was going on outside. It was eerie and green and so cool. Unfortunately that is just how Trent was feeling-minus the cool part. He took a turn for the worse and ended up having a really rough evening.
We did have a really neat experience this afternoon. I was feeling emotionally exhausted and Trent was too. We had a good cry together and expressed some fears, sadness, and the wish that everything would hurry up and fall into place. Then right in the middle of that we got a phone call from the Huntsman Cancer Institute in Utah. We finally have the ball rolling to get there so we can be closer to family. What a blessing that was! Our tears became those of happiness and relief and the knowledge that our Heavenly Father hears us and knows us so well!
Hopefully we will be going home tomorrow to our nice soft bed and no IV poles. It will be nice to have the kids with us for a couple of days before they head off to Utah. Then the next tornado will begin...getting Trent there too.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
good luck!!! you can do it. we are all routing for you!!!
ReplyDeleteTornados upset everything. They wreck havac with anything they touch, blowing it, tossing it, breaking it to pieces. But within the center birds can fly in the calm, waiting for the funnel to disperse and become nothingness. It's a lot like cancer, body wrecking, life upsetting, whirling one out of control. Until, that is, you reach the calm within, the peace, and wait until it blows itself into nothingness. Thank heaven for tomorrow and home and your own bed and the chance to go on. God bless...Mom
ReplyDeleteCan't think of anything wise or profound to say like Joellynn did. We just love you and think of each of you constantly.
ReplyDeleteYay for getting the Huntsman call! One step forward!! :) We love you!
ReplyDeleteHolly, I don't know if you even remember me (Heather Smith from Logan) but for some reason tonight I was searching like mad for you on facebook and wanting to re-connect. I finally found you but noticed a lot of sad comments on your wall, and eventually found this blog. I've read every word, though it's been hard because of the tears just streaming down my face. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. My heart just breaks for you and your family. When I think back to that time in Logan, you were truly one of the brightest spots in my life, and you have no idea how much I looked up to you and appreciated everything you did for me. You are one of the strongest people I know, and I know you guys will beat this! You have such a beautiful family... my, your kids have grown since I've seen them last! I'm so glad that you're able to come out to the Huntsman for treatment and that you're able to be closer to family. I will be checking your blog often for updates. You're all in my thoughts and prayers. Love ya! Heather (Smith) Taylor
ReplyDeleteLots of Love :)
ReplyDeleteHurray for Tender Mercies amidst the whirling storms!
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me (I'm a blogging friend of Jill's), but your family is in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for being brave enough to chronicle this life changing event. Through your experience, you will bless many others. Good luck with the treatment, and I'll be checking in from Utah often.
ReplyDeletegot a new quote for you:)
ReplyDeleteAnything is possible, but you have to believe and you have to fight.
-also from runner's world.
Oh Holly - I really don't know what to say. I can hear your voice in all of your words. I am so sorry that you and Trent and your beautiful kid are having to go through this awful, ugly, horrible trial. You sound so strong and that alone makes me feel peace for you both. Our family will be praying for you! I will check back often.
ReplyDeleteLove you guys,
The Moes Family