We are heading down for the second dose of round 13 today. I have been so amazed at how well Trent has handled the last two rounds! When we learned he would be undergoing two more rounds of chemo we were both disappointed because he had been feeling so well. Some of my tears were for the fact that he would be so ill again. The memories of the first 11 rounds came rushing back and I must admit that most of them are horrible memories. We were not too excited to begin all of that again. However, Heavenly Father must have taken that into consideration because He has truly blessed us these past four weeks. Trent has had some really difficult times, been in bed some days, and had some horrible pain, but for the most part he has carried on life as normal-well, what was beginning to be normal. :) He has been able to participate in everything that we already had planned to do and he wasn't even slowed down too much. He has kept himself busy with some projects he had already started and has finished most of them. The whole experience has been so much better than before. I guess that is due in part to the fact that he was pretty healthy when he started chemo again and the amount of disease in his body is so much less.
Trent is starting to lose his hair again and he won't let me shave it. It comes off on everything and is starting to look a little patchy. He is adamant that he is going to just let it all fall out instead of shaving it because he hated being bald and looking so sick. I can understand that but I still want to shave it.
During the last round of chemo I experienced something new that I pretty much love-giving shots! I know, kinda gross but it was new to me and I kinda liked it! After the second dose of chemo in each round Trent is given a Nulasta shot to boost production of his bone marrow. It makes him very sore and makes all the bones in his body ache so it is not much fun. Last round we had the shot delivered to our house by the pharmacy but no one from home health ever called to make an appointment to give it to him. We were leaving for Las Vegas early the next morning and didn't have time to wait. I was pretty excited to try giving the shot and had offered several times before but Trent didn't ever want me to do it. What?! I can pack four feet of gauze in an open wound four times a day but I can't slip a little needle into his belly? I don't know what that is about! Finally Trent relented and I grabbed the needle and popped it in his stomach. It slipped in like butta baby! If you can't tell, I am excited to do it again tomorrow!
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Relay for Life
Just two days after learning that Trent had another tumor in his lungs we participated in the Relay for Life. We had already entered "Team Trent" and were so excited to help other people fight cancer. It was kind of bittersweet to go and see all the many people who are affected by cancer and who are willing to fight for a cure. It was very inspiring and we will definitely be participating in the future.
It started out with a "Survivor Lap" for anyone who has ever been told "You have cancer". Trent was proudly sporting his purple survivor shirt. I did just fine when he passed us the first time. I was videoing and taking pictures as he passed. But when he came around to the end of the first lap for some reason I lost it. The gravity of what we have been through and survived hit me. We were surrounded by friends and family who have given so much to support us this year and we really appreciate all that they have done.
The idea was to have someone on our team walk on the track for 24 hours. We had some volunteers but I ended having to recruit people from our ward to help us out. In the process I got to invite several ward members that I knew were cancer survivors to come join the Survivor Lap. I was so glad to see them there and get to celebrate their victories with them. I tried to take pictures of everyone who walked for out team but I missed some. We are so grateful for each person who supported Team Trent!
That evening they had the Luminary ceremony. We all walked a lap in silence in honor of the victims and survivors of cancer. Then the kids slept in tents with Trent at the park. There was music playing all night long to keep the walkers awake but that meant no sleep for everyone else. Our family was pooped the next day!
By about 2:00 the next day the walking had to stop because there was a gas leak into the pond that we were walking around and they had to close the streets. I didn't mind too much. We didn't have that time filled and I was going to walk it myself, but took a nap with Trent in the tent instead. :)
Somehow I didn't get any pictures of Zach although he stuck by Trent's side the whole time-minus the many laps he did for Team Trent!
Our team raised $780 in just under two weeks. Pretty good for our first Relay! Way to go Team Trent!
It started out with a "Survivor Lap" for anyone who has ever been told "You have cancer". Trent was proudly sporting his purple survivor shirt. I did just fine when he passed us the first time. I was videoing and taking pictures as he passed. But when he came around to the end of the first lap for some reason I lost it. The gravity of what we have been through and survived hit me. We were surrounded by friends and family who have given so much to support us this year and we really appreciate all that they have done.
The idea was to have someone on our team walk on the track for 24 hours. We had some volunteers but I ended having to recruit people from our ward to help us out. In the process I got to invite several ward members that I knew were cancer survivors to come join the Survivor Lap. I was so glad to see them there and get to celebrate their victories with them. I tried to take pictures of everyone who walked for out team but I missed some. We are so grateful for each person who supported Team Trent!
That evening they had the Luminary ceremony. We all walked a lap in silence in honor of the victims and survivors of cancer. Then the kids slept in tents with Trent at the park. There was music playing all night long to keep the walkers awake but that meant no sleep for everyone else. Our family was pooped the next day!
By about 2:00 the next day the walking had to stop because there was a gas leak into the pond that we were walking around and they had to close the streets. I didn't mind too much. We didn't have that time filled and I was going to walk it myself, but took a nap with Trent in the tent instead. :)
Trent on his Survivor Lap!
This is Becky. She was the girl I visited while we were both at the Huntsman. If you don't remember the whole story you can read it here. We were both doing well (not crying) until we saw each other. I ran up and gave her a hug and we both just bawled. I was so happy to see her as a Survivor!
The Original Team Trent
Jarom was a great walker for us. He probably walked a dozen or more laps.
More TEAM TRENT!!!!
Jeff & Belinda. Belinda is a breast cancer survivor!
Paul & Linda. Two of the most compassionate people I know!
Desmond -another survivor!
Rena -Lung cancer survivor!
Tom & Brenda. They walked for us for two hours!
Adrianne & Jami & Cannon-friends from the ward.
Nate & Suzy- our BFFs!
I overheard a conversation the night before Relay about "Mark & LaDena" so I jumped right in and said, "I know them!" We had only officially met two days before but how many "Mark & LaDena"s can there be? We thought it was fitting to walk a lap for Mark.
Matt-another one of Team Trent.
I forgot to rotate this before I uploaded it. This luminary was in honor of Nate's dad who died when he was about twelve.
Adam and Mallory double teaming!
Devri-lapping for Team Trent.
"Dancing Machine" aka Ethan and Jarom.
A very tired Trent all cuddled in his sleeping bag.
Jonathan
Megan and Whitney
This guy was walking around playing all kinds of songs on his bagpipes. He stopped outside our tent and played "If You Could Hie to Kolob" which just happens to be Trent's favorite hymn. Pretty cool.
Another unrotated picture! Josh and Jonathan.
Somehow I didn't get any pictures of Zach although he stuck by Trent's side the whole time-minus the many laps he did for Team Trent!
Our team raised $780 in just under two weeks. Pretty good for our first Relay! Way to go Team Trent!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Recurrence
About three weeks ago Trent started having a little pain in his chest. We thought it might be due to the wires that are holding his sternum together. The surgeon told us that sometimes a patient's body rejects the wires and you have to have them removed. So last week we called and told them what was going on, that Trent was having some pain and there seemed to be a crescent moon shaped area at the top of his chest that looked a little swollen. The nurse asked me to take pictures and send them down which I did. We decided to make an appointment just to ease Trent's mind. He drove himself down to the dr and had an x-ray. Upon finding a spot on the xray they sent him for a CT which revealed a mass about 2 cm x 4 cm on his lung, right on top of his heart. They suggested we visit our oncologist right away because the spot was "suspicious". I immediately made an appointment for the following Wednesday (yesterday). I asked Katie, the nurse at Huntsman, "If the radiologist says a spot is "suspicious" they pretty much know it is cancer, right?" I knew the answer but was holding out a little hope for the spot to be just fluid, like they told us before.
We decided not to tell anyone yet because we had our son's baptism last weekend and we wanted it to be about him, not cancer. We cried a few tears that night, mostly out of frustration that we had to start over, just when Trent was feeling so well. Although I had been feeling very calm about the whole thing, my mind still began wandering to places it shouldn't. As I watched Trent interact with our children I would wonder, "Is he stamping this moment on his brain forever-should I be?", "Is this the last child Trent will baptize and confirm?", and so on. That is not very smart, and I know that. So, I changed gears. We are fighters...and it doesn't matter how many times we get knocked around, we get back up.
So Tuesday night we fasted and it helped me so much. Before we left for the hospital my dad gave Trent another blessing and again, confirmed the previous blessings that have promised that Trent will live to raise his children to maturity. He blessed the doctors and the nurses through Trent, that their abilities would be heightened to find the right medication to save Trent's life. He also said the things we would learn would be encouraging. It was another amazing blessing that had me in tears but my heart was calm. I never did get the butterflies that I usually get when we meet with Dr. Gouw. In my heart of hearts, I knew it was cancer-not fluid, and I am fine with that. Don't get me wrong, I still hate that cancer is in his body, but I know we can fight it. We did it once before and we will do it as many times as we need to.
We both received the news with calmness and asked what was the next step. He started chemo-gemcytobine and taxotere, immediately following our visit. He is going to do two rounds and then have another scan on July 13. In the meantime, Dr. Gouw is going to see if he can send the slides from the tumors that were resected from his lungs to an experimental lab in Arizona. They will study the slides and look for any molecular weaknesses that can be targeted with chemotherapy agents that we have not tried yet. Trent is on the last two agents that are known to work for sarcoma but if they can target a specific molecular breakdown they can hopefully kill the tumor. Many times in tumors the cells tell each other to reproduce, if they can use an agent that interrupts that communication the tumor dies. The experimental study is the next step if the current chemo does not work.
In the infusion room Trent had about a 30 second breakdown and then he was back to his usual jovial self, joking with all the nurses and telling them about the T-shirt he wants to make. I stepped out to get him something to eat and when I stepped off the elevator I immediately recognized two people I have never before met. I walked right up and gave them hugs. Mark and LaDena are in a similar battle and we find ourselves in very similar situations. It was so great to finally meet them! They came with me down to Infusion to meet Trent and it was like we were all old friends. Josh and Keisa also came to see how Trent was doing and it was really nice to have some family support there. It was wonderful to have them around and help take our minds away from the ugly reality we now face, yet again.
After Trent's infusion was finished we ended up going with Mark and LaDena to see "Pirates of the Caribbean" and had a blast! It was exactly what we needed and they helped our day end well. I don't for one minute believe that was a coincidence. I am finding that not many things are.
We decided not to tell anyone yet because we had our son's baptism last weekend and we wanted it to be about him, not cancer. We cried a few tears that night, mostly out of frustration that we had to start over, just when Trent was feeling so well. Although I had been feeling very calm about the whole thing, my mind still began wandering to places it shouldn't. As I watched Trent interact with our children I would wonder, "Is he stamping this moment on his brain forever-should I be?", "Is this the last child Trent will baptize and confirm?", and so on. That is not very smart, and I know that. So, I changed gears. We are fighters...and it doesn't matter how many times we get knocked around, we get back up.
So Tuesday night we fasted and it helped me so much. Before we left for the hospital my dad gave Trent another blessing and again, confirmed the previous blessings that have promised that Trent will live to raise his children to maturity. He blessed the doctors and the nurses through Trent, that their abilities would be heightened to find the right medication to save Trent's life. He also said the things we would learn would be encouraging. It was another amazing blessing that had me in tears but my heart was calm. I never did get the butterflies that I usually get when we meet with Dr. Gouw. In my heart of hearts, I knew it was cancer-not fluid, and I am fine with that. Don't get me wrong, I still hate that cancer is in his body, but I know we can fight it. We did it once before and we will do it as many times as we need to.
We both received the news with calmness and asked what was the next step. He started chemo-gemcytobine and taxotere, immediately following our visit. He is going to do two rounds and then have another scan on July 13. In the meantime, Dr. Gouw is going to see if he can send the slides from the tumors that were resected from his lungs to an experimental lab in Arizona. They will study the slides and look for any molecular weaknesses that can be targeted with chemotherapy agents that we have not tried yet. Trent is on the last two agents that are known to work for sarcoma but if they can target a specific molecular breakdown they can hopefully kill the tumor. Many times in tumors the cells tell each other to reproduce, if they can use an agent that interrupts that communication the tumor dies. The experimental study is the next step if the current chemo does not work.
In the infusion room Trent had about a 30 second breakdown and then he was back to his usual jovial self, joking with all the nurses and telling them about the T-shirt he wants to make. I stepped out to get him something to eat and when I stepped off the elevator I immediately recognized two people I have never before met. I walked right up and gave them hugs. Mark and LaDena are in a similar battle and we find ourselves in very similar situations. It was so great to finally meet them! They came with me down to Infusion to meet Trent and it was like we were all old friends. Josh and Keisa also came to see how Trent was doing and it was really nice to have some family support there. It was wonderful to have them around and help take our minds away from the ugly reality we now face, yet again.
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