Feed your FAITH and your fears will starve .

Friday, May 24, 2013

Until We Meet Again, My Friend

Today is going to be a difficult day.  I am going to the funeral of a dear friend who fought Sarcoma valiantly for over three years.  He has been such an amazing example to me and has shown such tender care and concern for me since Trent's passing.  He is one of those people who you feel an eternal connection to the second you meet him.  My heart aches for his sweet wife and their five children.  We know all too well the pain and heartache that they are experiencing.  I take comfort in knowing that families are eternal and I am sure that he and Trent will be busily working together to accomplish the Lord's work on the other side.  Mark was a giant of a warrior here and will continue his fight until the return of our Savior.  Make no mistake about it, God is building His army.

Mark Francis Kailing returned to his Heavenly home May 21. Mark is the youngest child born to Rebecca Reynolds Silverberg and Gene Kailing (Susan). Mark was born and raised in beautiful San Francisco, Calif., and the surrounding area. He was very close in age with his only siblings, his sisters; Rachel Strom and Ariel Wundes (John).

Mark found the gospel of Jesus Christ at age 23 and it forever changed his life. He was sealed to his love, LaDena in the Logan, LDS Temple on August 13, 1992. Together they created an exciting life. They welcomed five children into their forever family; Andrew Solomon (16), Aubrielle ShaLina (15), Ammoriah Rachelle (12), Ava Olea (8), and Amari Shinehah (4). 

Mark was never discouraged when life became challenging. Even when he faced the hardship of cancer for 3 1-2 years he would say, "God deserves the benefit of the doubt." Mark served in many callings in the church and was able to love and influence many people in congregations in San Francisco, Fresno, Modesto, Winnemucca, Logan and Providence. He shared with us recently; "I have experienced the choicest blessings because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I will die a very happy man."

Mark graduated as a doctor from California School of Professional Psychology, in Fresno, Calif., in June of 1996. Mark began his professional career testing and counseling at a high school in Fresno, then a rural clinic in Corcoran, Calif. He did his residency placement at Fresno City Community College and his post-doctoral internship in Modesto at a psychiatric hospital. He joined a group practice; Evergreen Family Institute in Logan, Utah. With a growing family he decided to take a psychologist position at Winnemucca Mental Health in Nevada. Eventually he opened a private practice in both Winnemucca and Logan, and has been working both locations for many years. Even through cancer treatments, Mark never quit working. Mark developed very simplified theories on life, personality, the universe, truth, etc. His ability to make the profound simple is what has made him a good teacher. Dr. Kailing touched the lives of hundreds in his years of service as a psychologist. He loved seeing the growth and improvement in the lives of others. 

Friday, May 10, 2013

My Happy Place

Life is happening at a whirlwind pace right now.  Saturdays are crazy with three kids in soccer and me coaching one of the teams.  School is winding down which means field trips all the time and the kids all want me to go with them.  I have added responsibilities at church and it seems like every other day I get asked to do something else like, play in a symphonic band, be the regional coaches administrator, etc.  Life is crazy!  Because of that is has been very helpful for me to escape our reality every once in a while.  Since February I have been to St. George three times and have loved it every time! Last month I took the kids and went down with Sandra (wife of Paul who recently passed away from cancer)and her children. We stayed in her father's guest house and had an absolute blast!  We hiked, went on picnics, ate out, went fishing, saw the historical sites, visited the temple grounds, watched movies, went to the dinosaur museum, and swam.  It was a much needed break for all of us.
Grafton, Utah (Ghost Town)
Jarom, Zach, Mally, Me, Jonny, Sandra, Sophie, Hailey,and Bree

Zach, Jarom, Megan, Jonny, and Mally

Megan had the camera at the little cemetery in Grafton.  It is interesting to me what she photographs.
 St. George Temple
St. George Temple

Jarom, Zach, Mally, Me, Megan, and Jonny at the temple

Visitors Center. We watched a really amazing  movie about the Plan of Happiness.  Yes, I bawled like a baby through the entire thing.
 Dixie Rock

Zach at the Johnson Farm Dinosaur Park
 Daughters of the Utah Pioneers Museum
 Jacob Hamblin Home

 As we were driving down the street Megan gasped and shrieked, scaring me half to death.  She had just spotted this statue that sent her heart all aflutter.  She has loved the movie "Spirit" since she was about three. She made me promise we would come back and take pictures before we left.

Not sure why Jonny was so interested in this end...

It was warm down there but certainly not hot enough to go shirtless! Silly boys!

Us and Grandpa Mayfield.  He is so sweet! We really bonded with him and were so grateful for his generosity!
I got to go back to St. George a couple of weeks ago with Marc and Aly who have also recently lost their spouses to cancer.  We had the best time!  We talked a ton and laughed even more.  The first day my abs were sore from laughing so hard.  It felt so good!  We ate at Anasazi, the most amazing steakhouse.  They cook your steak on a lava rock!  We also had the chance to go to the temple and do a session.  I was nervous because Marc had not been there since his wife died.  I know how hard it was for me the first time and I was really worried about what his reaction would be.  He was amazing.  After the temple session he shared with us what he had learned.  I hope he doesn't mind me sharing it here too.  I have been so impressed and have thought about it often.  He realized that God does not want us to be alone.  As hard as it is for us, Heavenly Father (and I believe our spouses) want us to marry again and find happiness for the rest of our lives.  Part of the reason for that is for protection.  When Adam and Eve were in the Garden of Eden Satan tempted them.  He first secluded Adam and tried to sway him.  When that failed he went to Eve, alone.  By tempting them separately he was able to get both of them.  I thought that was really interesting.  I have always known that Heavenly Father wants us to be united as families for happiness and strength and progression but I never thought of it as being needed for protection as well.

After we went to the temple we did some hiking at Snow Canyon and then Dixie Rock.  We ended up on a big rock overlooking the temple just as the sun went down and the lights came on in the city.  We all sat and talked about our spouses, the things we miss, the things we love about them, favorite memories, etc.  It was so peaceful and healing.  The best part is...we were able to do it all with smiles on our faces.  That may seem small to some...but it was huge for us.  

I love that I am finding joy in each day, that Heavenly Father is healing and softening my heart and helping me to carry on.  I am grateful that there is a smile on my face much more often than there are tears on my cheeks.  Nine months ago I thought my only happy place was right by Trent's side.  While that is truly the happiest place for me...there are other happy places that I can enjoy here on earth.