Trent had a terrible night. He got up to get a drink and didn't wake me. He ended up falling down because he was so dizzy. He was up several times, in pain, to use the bathroom, etc. Then this morning he told me that he had awful dreams again. He is really struggling mentally with that. Sleep is not restful, it is stressful and that doesn't help him recover at all.
Once we were up we did pretty good to get Trent ready and up for breakfast by about 9:30. Home health came and we opted to keep the port accessed for now so I could continue to give more fluids. He slept a bunch today. By this evening he was able to get up for dinner and hang out for a bit. We found a walker in the storage room (why my mom had a walker I will never know-but good thing she did!) so we put the traditional tennis balls on the legs and Trent was off! He did one lap around the kitchen with Jarom following-to make sure he didn't fall-and then he was done. His mouth is still so sore and he is barely able to eat. I ran to the store to get some more juice pops, these are about the only thing that takes the chemo taste out and relieves some of the soreness. Unfortunately there were all out of juice pops. When I told Trent he was devastated. I brought substitutes but they were not up to par. Thank goodness I got a raincheck so I can go tomorrow and get a whole bunch.
The kids are starting to wonder about this whole situation. At dinner today I was sitting by Jarom. He kept leaning over asking me questions about Trent like: "Can he laugh?", "Does he still have teeth?", "Can he understand me?" It was kind of sobering, especially when Trent told me that Mallory had asked him earlier today how long he was going to be her dad. He said she was pretty teary and scared. My heart broke! We have had several talks with the kids and been very positive about the whole thing. But really, that was when he still looked like Trent and acted like Trent. Now he looks totally different, doesn't act the same, and probably is kind of scary to the kids. We really need to sit them down and explain to them that it is going to get uglier before it gets better. I can't imagine the other questions that must be running through their minds. Just another way that cancer is affecting our family. But we are going to make it. Trent is going to be Mally's daddy for a long, long time. Practically eternity!
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Holly.. call me when you get the chance.. it doesnt matter the time..
ReplyDeleteLove you1
Those mouth sores are miserable. Todd used to get them after each round, and he could hardly talk. And the questions from the kids are tough. The best thing to do is be honest with them, but keep it on their level at the same time. They notice when things are different, and I don't think as adults we give them enough credit. Thinking of you!!
ReplyDeleteTrent and Holly and fam--
ReplyDeleteWe are pulling for you too! We have wanted desperately to be able to feel helpful and are not quite sure how to do it but after talking with your dad over the reunion, holly, we were told our prayers are best...we're sending them up in your behalf. Dad used to always quote movie lines--gosh i miss that-- and loved to quote from "While you Were Sleeping". One of his lines was from Peter Boyle near the end when he says so matter a factly, "Life is a pain in the a**"...i have to agree with that at times too...but how grateful that good and beautiful can come along as well to make it all worth living. Your family is strong...somehow and somewhere your family was prepared for this...there are so many prayers going up for you. We love you and are constantly keeping you in our thoughts.
Steph and family Wallis
Hi Holly and Trent,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you guys are going through this. I just found your blog yesterday. It's been one of the hardest things I've ever read, but I really appreciate you doing it.
You're in our thoughts and prayers. Holly, you're doing an amazing job dealing with everything. Trent, sê forte!
Steve S.