Feed your FAITH and your fears will starve .

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Praying for a Miracle

Today's test results were less than wonderful. Trent was not feeling so good today and had quite a time in the MRI. He actually threw up in the middle of it. We met with Dr. Jones, a surgical oncologist, who said that Trent's chance of making it through this was slim. EXCUSE ME?! That was harsh to hear but we both swallowed it like we had heard it before even though no one had said it quite like that. He said that because of the obvious infection in the biopsy site that surgery was needed immediately. Unfortunately the chemotherapy has not done anything to the cancer and the spots on the lungs have grown. If they tried to do more chemo now it would kill Trent because of the infection. So surgery is scheduled for Friday. Dr. Jones believes he will have to remove the entire adducter muscle to erradicate all the cancer in the hip. This will leave Trent dependent on the use of a walker or cane the rest of his life. That is a tough pill to swallow. They will put in a wound vac and do another surgery two weeks later to remove any remaining cancer and close the wound. Then when Trent is healed from that surgery they will start a new regimen of chemotherapy to attack the spots in the lungs.

Surprisingly Trent has been pretty calm about this. I, on the other hand, keep thinking of all the things that will change. It was pretty emotional at the hospital and I cried all the way from SLC to Brigham and buckets beyond that. I admit. I am scared. I am apprehensive about our future and what life will be. But ultimately, life is a lot more important than mobility. Trent gave me a blessing that I would be strong enough to handle all that will come our way and be a strength to others. I immediately felt calmed and at peace.

I was trying to think things through and be positive. I closed my eyes and rested for about one minute when the thought came to me as clear as day. "Thy faith hath made thee whole." What "whole" is I am not sure. However it is plain to me that I must continue to have faith. Then this evening for scripture study I read 3 Nephi 17. This is when Christ has come to visit the Nephites in America and before he leaves he invites them to bring him their sick and afflicted and he heals them. I know that through Christ we can be healed too. I guess through all of this we are learning to rely more fully on Christ and realize that we are in the Lord's hands. While it is scary and unknown, I would rather be in the hands of the Lord than not. He will do what is best for us. I am just hoping and praying that He and I are on the same page!

Trent and I will be fasting on Friday for a successful surgery, sparing as much of the muscle as possible, and a chemotherapy regimen that will erradicate the spots on the lungs. In short, we are fasting and praying for a miracle. If you would join us in our fast we would be grateful.

12 comments:

  1. I just finished reading third Nephi and when I came across that same chapter I thought about you both. Faith in Christ will be the best support for you during this time. He can heal, encourage, strengthen, and teach us each day. There isn't another person who knows all of our personal suffering better than he does. I will also fast tomorrow and pray that the surgery will be a success, and that Trent's recovery will be comfortable. I feel that this will go well and I also have faith that Christ will make that possible. Please rest and be at peace. Love you all!

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  3. Holly, I KNOW how you feel! We always hope that by some miracle our husbands will be healed, but we also know that it is in the Lord's hands. It's such a sobering thought. We have faith, that everything will be okay--in the eternal sense. The probability that I will be left a widow to raise my 3 children is very high. I'm not ready for that! Some days I feel strong, knowing that I can do it with the Lord's help. Other days I just say "IT'S NOT FAIR!!!" and wonder how on earth I am going to get through this. My heart aches for you...because I SOOOOO know what you are going through. It's not fair.....but we can do it. Our ward is holding a fast on Sunday for our family. I will also keep your family in my prayers. Love you!!!
    Love,
    the 'other' sarcoma wife in Idaho :)

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  4. You are always in my prayers and I think of you often. You are exactly right, life IS more important than mobility! Keep your faith strong, Heavenly Father knows and loves you dearly. Stay strong! You are an example to all of us!

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  5. I have not posted on your blog before but I do read it. I am drawn to read it because I feel a spiritual strength from your reaction to your trial. I wish I could do more than fast for you both on Friday. I wish I could make it better. It appears to me that you two were meant to swim in deep water.

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  6. I too haven't posted before, but I read it. You guys have so much strength it truly amazes me. I'll keep you guys in my prayers.

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  7. We will for sure join in fasting for Trent and your family this week! We are praying that surgery is a big success and not nearly as grim as the doctors make it out to be. It seems like some doctors feel obligated to give you the worst case scenario and leave you with no hope! But there is always hope and the Lord is capable of providing you with the biggest miracles! You are a complete inspiration to me! Hang in there and stay strong! We love you all and are continually praying for you! *BIG HUG*

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  8. I have a few friends/clients that years ago were only given a glimmer of hope due to cancer of various stages/types. They have all OUTLIVED/SURPASSED all diagnoses from the doctors. Trent I hope you are someday one of these miracle examples of survival. I pray for you and your family that you find peace and strength as you enter into the next phase of BEATING your encounter with cancer. Stay strong and thinking of you BOTH daily. HUGS!!!!

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  9. I, as well, have never commented, but read your blog daily. Thank you for being so strong and showing us what faith really is. I know the Lord is mindful and is watching over you daily. I can feel it through the tears as I read through your trials. My husband and I walked for Trent in the Relay for Life last week and we are keeping you guys in our prayers and will certainly fast with you tomorrow! My heart is with you guys! Lets kick this cancer to the curb!!

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  10. Rasmussens.. Tomorrow is going to be alright! I feel it.. and the Lord is with you. It was so good to see you guys tonight..Our family is BLESSED beyond belief to have you as friends! Trent.. Hang in there.. get ready to click your heels together.. and show cancer who is boss! We love you so much.

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  11. Holly hang in there. Trent, you too. There is always the element of hope, faith, and yes a miracle. It doesn't matter what anybody else says. You do your part and Heavenly Father will take care of the rest...whatever that may be.

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  12. This is to everyone out there who reads this blog and takes the time to comment: Thank you so very, very much. Holly reads your comments to Trent every night. You are a source of strength and encouragement that is essential to them. All of us are blessed by your love, prayers, care, and concern. Each night we weep with gratitude for the blessing you bring into our lives. May the Lord pour out His choicest blessings upon you.

    Holly's Dad

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