Dad-Are you there?

You may remember the talk given by Elder Hammond a couple of conferences ago. Well we experienced something similar at about 3:30am Friday morning. We had been waiting for our parents to come from Utah and Idaho. They finally walked in the door at about 3:30 and Trent sat up in bed and called for his dad just as I imagine he had done as a child. His dad swept him up in his arms as Trent sobbed and told him how scared he was.

After just a couple hours of sleep-Doug, my dad, Trent, and I got up to go to Omaha for another appointment with Dr. Silva. He needed to check out the incision after all the bleeding we had the day before. He said it was fine and we could expect a little more bleeding. The incision is so ugly! He had to take out quite a large chunk of skin and tumor to get enough for pathology. The material used for the stitches is so big! Dr. Silva said it was like fishline. Uh---more like SHARK line! It has really been causing Trent so much pain. He can't get comfortable and can hardly move. He is now using a walker regularly and spending most of his time in bed. I can't believe how much he has changed in just one week.

Friday was a great day for me. I was super positive and mostly dry-eyed. It was great to have family here. Ben and Michelle came up too and it is nice to have the kids engaged in something other than watching Dad be sick.

Trent had a different kind of day. He was pretty emotional and mostly in pain. Today has been the same. I think I am cycling through the grief process. I feel so mad at Trent-of all people! I guess I am mad at the whole situation. I still feel like I will just wake up and he will be better-like he has just had the flu or something. Then I think the whole thing is just too dramatic to be real. But then I see how Trent moves-or doesn't move and it hits me all over again. My husband has cancer. Yuck. I hate that!

Today has been a flurry of activity with everyone picking a job and jumping in. It is overwhelming and I feel like I have no control of the situation. I know it is for the best but I like it more when I plan out the day and carry out the plan. I guess those days are over for a while.

We continue to be so blessed by all those around us. Our neighbors have taken over the yardwork, ward members are bringing in meals, people are sending cards and well wishes. It is so humbling to be on this end of it! I know I have many lessons to learn from this and that we will be better people because of it. I just hope we can learn our lessons really fast!