Round TWENTY-ONE!!!

Here we are again, in the thick of chemo.  Twenty-one rounds.  Wow.  That is so hard for me to wrap my mind around.  When Trent was first diagnosed I thought the most you could do was five.  I am so glad I was so clueless.  It would have been even more devastating than it already was.  

Wednesday morning my dad asked if I wanted him to give Trent a blessing before we left.  I thought it was a little odd because it was just regular chemo, not scans.  I shrugged and told him he could if he wanted to.  Right after that Trent's Aunt Susan called out of the blue.  She asked if he had his blessing for the day.  After that I figured someone was trying to tell us something and Trent better have a blessing.  I called my dad and he came home from work to administer to Trent.  It was another beautiful blessing that had us both bawling. One of the first things my dad said was that all of the difficulties Trent is having are still lessons to be learned.    Trent started bawling then.  That was a little discouraging to hear.  What haven't we learned?  Why don't we just hurry up and learn it?  Oh wait, maybe the lesson is PATIENCE.  Anyway, the rest of the blessing was very specific and very comforting.  I am so grateful to my dad for being the priesthood man that he is.  He has been such a support for us and is always ready and willing to lay his hands on our heads and call upon heaven for blessings.  

Right before we left for SLC Trent went downhill.  He was feeling really yucky and was a bit dizzy.  I am sure it is hard for him knowing he is heading down to be poisoned.  By the time we got there he was a little bit better.  When he checked in they weighed him and he was up about four pounds.  That was good to see because we have both been a little concerned about the rapid weight loss.  All of his labs came back looking pretty good.  Nothing is too out of whack.  He is still a little anemic though.  Our nurse, Katie, came over to check in on us and get us some scripts.  She was surprised and happy to see how good Trent looked.  Even being under the weather he still looks about 10 times better than he did one month ago.  We asked about the bumps on his arm that keep coming and going.  No one has any idea what those might be so I will just continue to take pictures of them and keep track of them.  Katie also said that if Trent starts feeling a little "punky" we should call and they will give him blood.  She told us about another patient who is having a hard time fitting chemo into his family life.  Once again, we realized how lucky we are to be in the situation we are in.  We never have to worry about who will take the kids.  My mom has alleviated so much of that burden for us.  She never even bats an eye at the extra work we are for her.  She is such a trooper and we are so grateful.  We have been so blessed!

While we were in Infusion someone brought in some fast food.  The smell made Trent really sick so I whipped out my trusty Peppermint oil and shoved it under his nose.  Wala! No more nausea!  I really like that peppermint-and peppermint loves Trent!  We now carry it everywhere Trent goes.  

We were lucky enough to have Scott and Heather Church come spend some time visiting with us.  They were in our ward in Lincoln and have now moved to Sandy.  Scott is a cancer survivor and can relate to a lot of what Trent is going through.  It was really fun to talk with them and spend some time laughing.  I had so much fun I forgot to pull out my camera.  Next time...

After chemo we stopped at Red Robin for some dinner.  Trent had been craving a burger all day.  Unfortunately by the time we got there the chemo was starting to hit him.  I was able to get a decent picture but he is really faking a smile.  Right before I took this picture he was laying on the table trying not to moan too loudly.

Thursday was not too bad.  Trent slept most of the day.  That's fine with me...as long as he is not in pain.  I gave him his Neupogen shot around 8 pm.  It was all downhill after that.  He woke up this morning really sore and having some really bad back pain.  Round the clock pain meds are now ordered up for him for at least a few days.

Aunt Susan and her son, Jared, came down from Rexburg today to visit.  Jonathan practically mauled Jared all day.  Jared was a really good sport and played blocks, trains, and wrestled with Jonathan.  I think Jonathan was excited to have some attention from someone other than Mom and Grandma.

Trent enjoyed his visit with Susan and Jared and we are thankful they drove all the way down to see him.  We were lucky they came when they did because he is definitely headed downhill.  He is probably going to be out of commission for at least the next few days.  We are going to try to keep it to days, not weeks, so we can have some fun before we do this all over again!  Sigh...

Daddy's Chair

Big Daddy got a new chair!  Trent has wanted a new chair for a little while now.  He has a hard time getting comfortable in regular chairs because he is soooo long!  I told him as soon as he was well enough to shop for one he could have it.  Last night we went out in the middle of a snowstorm to get a chair.  Within ten minutes of walking into the first store his chair was bought and paid for.  Talk about shopping like a man!  

No buyer's remorse here!

 As soon as the chair was delivered Trent snuggled in for a test drive.  It wasn't too long before Jonathan had to join him to break it in.  What a cheeser!

Man I love these boys!

Forward with Hope and Faith

We have had a few ups and downs since Wednesday.  Thursday was really iffy.  I was really hoping that because Trent had been doing so well on Tuesday and Wednesday, he would be able to continue right on up to Infusion day this Wednesday.  If there is one thing we have learned about cancer...it is that it is unpredictable.  As much as I try to track all the side effects from one round to the next, cancer still throws in a turn or two I did not expect.  Needless to say, I was very disappointed when Trent started heading downward again.  He just didn't feel well Thursday.  He didn't sleep well and wasn't able to eat too much, just no appetite.  He weighed himself and was irritated to see that he was losing more weight.  He is now down to 205, from 228 just three weeks ago.  He also started to cough up blood again.  This time it was more (almost 1 cup in a 24 hour period), to the point that I was getting nervous.  I called Dr. Carr on Friday night and talked with him about it.  He said that if Trent coughed up the same amount Saturday and Sunday that he would need to see him on Monday for sure.  Once again, we called our little family around us and said a very fervent and specific prayer. Not surprisingly the coughing has stopped, the appetite is back, and last night Trent did NOT have cancer sweats!  I cannot deny those results.  We have asked for very specific things and have been blessed over and over again to see answers to those prayers.  We try to point that out to our kids...I hope they are listening!  We are truly being watched over.  I get excited to say my prayers at night because that is my "check in time"  where I get to report the days' events and thank my Heavenly Father for His watchful care of my husband and family.

I have been doing some reading about how to help Trent strengthen his lungs.  I have had him working on the incentive spirometer for a few weeks now.  He goes up and down in how high he can get the little ball.  I also read that he should be eating small meals several times a day.  We have tried that and it seems to be working well for him.  Hopefully he will be able to gain a few pounds before Wednesday!

Yesterday Trent was able to come to Sunday School and Sacrament meeting with us.  We had him on oxygen and he was doing pretty well.  During Sacrament meeting he was coughing a little bit so I reached for a Ricola.  Suddenly he got a stabbing pain in his abdomen.  He inhaled sharply and grabbed his side.   He was writhing and wincing in pain.  I looked up at the stand to see if my dad was seeing this.  He was completely oblivious but his counselor, President Bailey was on full alert.  I could tell he was waiting for the sign from me to sprint off the stand and carry Trent out.  One look and he would have flown to our rescue.  Luckily, after a very intense minute or so, the pain subsided.  Trent was sweating and panting.  I meekly offered him that stupid Ricola I was still holding.  Wow, I am sure that helped! :s  When the meeting ended Jonathan was asleep.  I was carrying him while trying to hold up a very wobbly Trent who kept saying he was going to pass out.  I am sure we were quite the sight!  My friend Suzanne swooped in and grabbed Jonathan out of my arms so I could get Trent to the car.   Maybe it is good that "all eyes are on us" sometimes. :)

Last night Trent was doing great.  He watched football with my family and really enjoyed himself.  While he watched I went to a fireside with Megan to celebrate 100 years of Seminary.  President Boyd K. Packer spoke and he advised us all that we need to continue forward with hope and faith.  That is what it is all about, hope and faith...in a forward motion.  There is not time to sit still.  So, on we go...

Good Times!

Trent was feeling pretty good yesterday so I asked him out on a date.  We went to see the afternoon showing of Sherlock Holmes.  I am certain we were BY FAR the youngest people in the theater.  We kind of laughed about being at the "early bird" show.  As soon as we got there Trent had some stabbing pain which we quickly medicated.  We were able to enjoy the entire show without incident and had a great time.  We made it home just in time to see Megan traipse over to Young Women's in my sister's wedding dress.  They were having a modest fashion show and that is what Megan chose to wear.  I did her hair in an "up do" and put flowers in it.

Yes, it was kind of weird to see Megan in a wedding dress and it freaked Trent out just a little.

Just before bed last night Trent had some really wicked pain.  It was easily a ten on the pain scale and he was difficult to calm down.  We put warm bean bags on his back and rubbed some oil on him to get him to relax.  It worked pretty quickly but he didn't sleep much last night.  He says he asked me for pain medicine and I only half-way remember that.  I think I rolled over and went back to sleep.  Oops.

Trent has another lump on his arm again.  He got two of them last round and the docs thought they were either bug bites or sarcoma.  Both of them went away rather quickly.  Now, at the same point in the cycle as last time, another one has popped up.  It looks to be in the same spot as one of them from before.  It is pretty tender too.  We marked it with a pen and will watch it closely for any changes.

We outlined the bump but you can hardly see it.

These are the bumps from last round that went away.

All things considered, Trent is doing pretty well.  MOST of the day he is in good spirits and feels okay.  If we could just get better at anticipating the rough spots, he would be doing better.  However, I had a date with my hubby and that hasn't happened in a very long time.  Good times, good times!

On the Upswing-I hope!

Trent seems to be doing a little better today.  I think he hits his low point in chemo pretty early because his bone marrow has been wiped out so many times before that it doesn't take much to wipe it out now.  Friday and Saturday were pretty hard for Trent.  Sunday he had some pretty intense pain for a short time but we got that under control, mostly, and he was pretty good after that.  Brother Law, our elders quorum pres, and his son, Justin brought Trent the sacrament yesterday.  I know he appreciates that so much.  Trent hates to miss church and is often willing to try to come when I have to say 'no'.  We have had a few 'episodes' at church that I do not wish to repeat so it really is better for Trent to stay home for now.  I hope by next Sunday he will be ready to go.

Trent is still struggling with agitation.  He worries so much about what each kid is doing that he gets all hyped about stuff he could really let go.  I tried doubling up on the Valium last night and this morning, which Dr. Gouw suggested if we are not seeing a change.  I hope that does the trick for him.  I was hoping it would also help with the night sweats but so far, nada.  No help in that category yet.  If I could get Trent to sleep all night without sweating or having to use the bathroom I think he would be one happy camper.

Yesterday Trent started coughing up a little blood again.  It must be that point in the chemo.  It started at the same point last time but it landed him in the hospital.  I am crossing my fingers that we are past the danger zone already.  He was a little feverish on Friday and Saturday but never high enough to warrant a visit to the ER.  We immediately started the prayers for no fever and no coughing.  So far, I think they are working pretty well.

Last night we had a fun movie night with the kids and all the blankets and pillows they could carry.  We watched 'Bedtime Stories' and had a fun time.  I didn't even think to get out my camera...duh.  Oh well, a great time was had by all and that made for a great night!

Still Hanging On

The effects of round 20 have fully hit, I think.  Thankfully Trent is not violently ill like he has been during several other rounds.  He is in excruciating pain at times but we are doing everything we can to keep that under control.  Heat pads, essential oil, and pain medicine seem to be helping quite a bit.  I think all the pain is coming from the Neupogen shot he has to have every day.  It is the shorter lasting version of Neulasta, which was horrible for him during previous rounds.  The pain is all over his neck, shoulders, and back.  I have been giving him back and foot massages to try and keep him calm.

Other than the pain, everything else seems to be in check.  All of his vitals look great, much better than they have been as of late.   Our goal is to keep him out of the hospital this round.  If we can do that, I think he will get some good days to enjoy before we go back.

I wonder how Trent has done this so many times.  He has amazing stamina and his determination is never ending.  I can't believe how strong he is...I am so lucky he is mine.

Round 20!

The last couple of days have been a little more iffy than the weekend was.  Trent has been pretty tired.  I think it is mostly because he sweats like crazy at night and therefore doesn't get very good sleep.  For some reason that no one knows, cancer sweats only happen at night.  That means Trent naps for more of the day than normal and doesn't get really rested at night. 

He has also been more agitated lately.  He is frustrated by the lack of sleep and never feeling 'great'.  We agreed that round the clock Ativan was in order. :)  Other than the lack of sleep and anger, Trent seems to be doing much better.  The dark circles around his eyes are even starting to lighten up. 

We were scheduled for a visit with Dr. Gouw this morning and infusion this afternoon.  Trent was not feeling too hot when we left but seemed better by the time we made it to SLC.  On weigh in Trent had lost about 12 pounds from last Wednesday.  So unfair.  His heart rate was a bit high, probably because he had been walking around and he was just a bit nervous. 

When we finally saw Dr. Gouw he was amazed at Trent.  We reported everything that had transpired throughout the last week and how Trent was feeling.  Pretty much everything he wrote down was positive, except about the sweating and the anger.  He suggested trying Valium.  Normally they would treat the night sweats with SSRI's (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors)which we know are not good for Trent.  However, Valium has been used to help with the night sweats too, so we are killing two birds with one stone. 

Dr. Gouw really just sat there with a surprised and happy look on his face.  He said he was encouraged and that he couldn't take credit for the overall positive change.  He apologized if he was sort of doom and gloom last time.  We told him that is the nature of the beast and that we learned a long time ago that cancer IS doom and gloom but we had the choice about our outlook.  He agreed and said that he was very impressed with our attitudes and has been the whole time.  It has been the hardest thing we have ever faced and it is NOT easy to be positive, but it is definitely easier than living life with a crappy attitude.  We have shed buckets of tears over this but the peace we need so badly always comes.   And then, life goes on.

Trent did Round 20 today and there will be one more round before scans on the 8th of February.  We are so grateful for all of the prayers, and especially grateful that they are being answered.  We still have a long way to go but today was positive and we are going to celebrate that!

Pretty Darn Good Weekend!

Saturday morning we woke up to a couple of inches of snow.  Trent got this great idea that we should all (meaning everyone BUT him, of course) go outside and build a snowman scene.  His idea was to have two snowmen bowling.  One snowman would use the other's head for a bowling ball.  Well, that was a great idea but he was not the one doing it.  The snow was not sticking so great and it was hard to handle.

 I don't think it is very clear but we modified the "snow scene".  We ended up with one snowman using his own head for the bowling ball.  We had fun doing it and that was the point.  We tried to get a picture of us all but Jonathan was not too interested.  Who am I kidding...he has having nothing of it!

 For MOST of Saturday Trent was doing pretty well.  He had a few yucky times but overall I think it was a pretty good day.  We spent some time playing games with the kids before bedtime and although Trent said he was just going to watch, he did end up joining us and having some fun.

He didn't sleep really well last night.  The cancer sweats are killing him.  He sweats like crazy and then he is freezing cold.  However, all of his vitals are looking great and we have been able to mostly control the side effects of chemo with medication and essential oils.   We have really loved the Peppermint to help with the nausea.  It works wonders for Trent.  We continue to be amazed at the answer to our specific prayers in regard to coughing up blood.  The coughing has decreased dramatically and he has coughed up only a fraction of what he was.  Gross, I know.

Today Trent's brother and sister came from Rexburg to spend the day with him. Troy and Tracy stayed with Trent while the rest of us went to church.  They had a great time visiting and Trent was very happy they came.  

Troy, Trent, and Tracy (Half of the "Tr" clan)
Doesn't Trent look great!?

Lately Trent has really been talking with Megan about sharing her testimony in church.  He challenged her to do it today.  She finally did it!  Too bad Trent was not there to hear it but I know it meant a lot to him that she would do it for him.  Jarom was brave enough to share his testimony too.  Everyone at church was very concerned about Trent and how he is doing.  Honestly I think he is better now than he was right before chemo.  We really appreciate all the love, concern, prayers and the fasting on our behalf.  It truly makes a difference in our lives!  I really don't know how we are handling this other than to say that we are being lifted up by many, many prayers.

Glimpse of Normal Life

Today was pretty good. Trent was able to be up almost all day. He watched cartoons and played trains with Jonathan. He hardly coughed at all today. We have been praying for very specific things lately and today some of our prayers were answered. Trent was in rare form and it was so fun! We got a visit from one of our former bishops and his wife, Blaine and Donna Butterworth. Trent looked and acted more like himself than he has for a very long time. I know they were surprised to see him like that. I was so thrilled to see him act (gasp) normal! During our conversation someone mentioned Arby's...yep, I made an Arby's run after they left. I was happy to do it because it has been quite a while since Trent was excited about eating anything. Unfortunately the happy times didn't last long. By about 10:00 pm Trent was laying on the couch feeling all crappy again. My only regrets today...that I missed a picture of the happy Trent because my camera was dead, and that the good times had to end. Hopefully we can muster up some good times tomorrow too!

Test Results

All of the cultures on the blood and sputum have grown nothing. Now we have no idea what the infection was and what was causing the fever. I guess that is okay...it all would have been taken care of with the antibiotics anyway. We are managing each day and what it brings. Trent looked pretty good for some of the day. He was able to be up and spend some time with the family watching iCarly. We used to watch that with the kids all the time when we lived in Lincoln. It was really nice to feel like things were almost normal. We are trying to keep the lines of communication open for our kids but so far no one is really anxious to talk about anything. However, last night when Trent was tucking Mallory into bed, she cried and cried about Trent dying. She wanted to know who was going to be her daddy if he died. He told her he would always be her daddy and that he would always love her. I wish she never had to wonder about that. It breaks my heart! I know the kids are wondering and I think most of them try not to let it be real. If they don't think about it then it doesn't hurt. Jonathan is the eternal optimist-and innocent little cutie! He is always marching around declaring to all of us that Dad is going to be better soon. I really hope that is a little message from above!

Click, Click, Click

Well, we clicked our heels and made it home!  We were somewhat surprised this morning when the docs rounded and told us we could go home.  There was no medical reason to keep Trent there so they sprung us!  Trent's vitals have all stabilized and he has not had a fever since we got there.  He is still coughing up a lot of blood but we are doing everything we can to stop that.  I know this is gross but as long as it is sputum (spit) and blood we are okay.  It is when it becomes frank red blood that it is life threatening and probably time to hop on a helicopter back to SLC.  We are really hoping it doesn't come to that.

Yesterday I noticed a couple of red bumps on Trent's arm.  I traced one with my finger and Trent jumped because it was very tender.  I asked the docs about them and no one knows what they are.  We marked them with a pen and are watching them right now.  They put him on an antibiotic in case they are spider bites.  However, they don't itch at all so the insect bite theory is a little suspicious.  The other thing they are worried about is that they are sarcoma nodules.  Really!?  As if I don't already have enough things to worry about!  I guess it is not that big of a deal, we were told they would just to a couple of radiation treatments and get rid of them if they are sarcomas.  The only way to know is to biopsy, so we will watch them for a bit and see what they do.

 My dad stopped by to bring us some more supplies because we thought we were staying longer.  He and I went upstairs for a bite to eat and while I was gone this happened...

Trent got a visit from the entire U of U Women's Diving team!  They were visiting patients and dropping off little goody bags.  I had to laugh because I have been in his room non-stop for the past three days and as soon as I step out he gets 16 lovely ladies visiting him.  Go Utes!

The ride home is always hard on Trent.  Thankfully our friend Greg had stopped by for a visit and was able to help me get him to the car.  I always try to go straight home and get Trent comfortable but this time we had to stop for a prescription.  It took way longer than it should have and that didn't help at all.  By the time we made it home Trent was spent.  His evening has been pretty tough and the coughing is happening way too much.  We had a talk with the kids about praying for specific things.  Right now we are praying for the coughing to stop and the tumors to shrink.  That's not too much to ask is it?

Good Hearted Man-Literally

We had a pretty emotional night last night.  It has been difficult lately as we are back on the rollercoaster of emotions.  I long for Trent to feel good again, to share an embrace where I am not standing over his bedside awkwardly trying to hug him without hurting his chest.  Last night I crawled in bed beside him and tried to be very still and not hurt him.  Then the floodgates opened.  I cried until his shirt was wet and my eyes were dry.  I miss him so much!  I miss having his arms around me and feeling protected by him.  Someday...

We were very excited for today for many reasons.  In addition to the temple session for the First Presidency, our families,ward, and many of you fasted for us.  I was really anticipating having a sweet spirit fill my heart all day and was looking forward to that peace.  Oh how the adversary works on us!  After being up several times with Trent last night we were both up very early.  I woke up kind of glum and Trent was a bit irritated.  That made for a difficult morning. 

We had a wonderful nurse, Karen, who was very diligent in getting Trent his morphine right on schedule and that seemed to help quite a bit.  You could see him relax as soon as the drugs kicked in.  His breathing evened out and he was much calmer.  He had an EKG and an Echocardiogram today.  We haven't been given any final report from the cardiologist yet but both technicians said that there was nothing alarming on the tests.  Thank goodness for that!  That feels like a small victory for us because of all the chest pain Trent has had as of late.  

Trent has been coughing up more blood and was fasting all day in anticipation of having another bronchoscopy today.  Finally at about 5:30 this evening Dr. Carr decided that it really wouldn't do any good to do the bronchoscopy because there is probably not a lot they can do about it.  Bottom line is, the tumor HAS to shrink to provide some relief.  (Yes, Trent was STARVING!)

Throughout the day Trent struggled with nausea.  The nurses were throwing everything they could at him to ease the nausea.  Karen even suggested sniffing the alcohol wipes.  Turns out that doesn't really work for Trent but the cool rag on the head seems to. 

We had some good moments today.  We got to talk to our kids for a bit and they seem to be doing well.  At times it is hard to not look back and wonder if thing could have been different.  However, we have to stay in the present and have faith that this is what the Lord has planned for us.  I was thinking today about how audacious it is of me to think that my way is best.  My vision is short and very nearsighted so I have to rely on the Lord to guide us through the dark, knowing that only He can see the end.  

Recently I was reading on another cancer patient's blog.  His wife wrote of three things she had learned through their battle and I have not been able to get them out of my mind. 

1. Faith if He doesn't.

2. Faith that He can.

3. Hope that He will.

I think that pretty much sums it up.  I must have faith that if the Lord doesn't heal Trent, that it was for our good and our sorrows will be made up to us someday, faith that the Lord is certainly capable of healing Trent and restoring his health, and hope that the Lord sees fit to heal Trent in this life. 

We are both very grateful for all the prayers, fasting, and support we have been given.  We are especially mindful of the blessing of having Trent's name in many, many temples.  We are eternally grateful for the privilege of being prayed for by name by the prophet of God.  We have great faith that has been strengthened today and our hope is for a miracle.





My Sweet Husband

Trent had a bit of a rough day.  It is becoming increasingly difficult for him to get comfortable.  He has a lot of chest pain and can only lay on his left side.  He has started coughing up blood again.  Tomorrow they are considering doing another bronchoscopy to determine the cause of the bleeding in his lungs. If they can find the source they will probably do a localized radiation to cauterize it.  They gave him a breathing treatment and that loosened up enough sputum to do a culture on.  Those results will take another day or two.  Hopefully we will have results from the blood cultures that were done in Brigham by tomorrow.  

 After the breathing treatment they took Trent down for a CT scan of his chest.  The results were not surprising.  The tumor in the lower left lobe has grown another 2X3 centimeters.  We pretty much expected that since there was no treatment.  The tumor in his pericardium has grown but only slightly.  All the other tumors have grown a bit but not significantly.  The upper lobe of the left lung has partially collapsed.  There are small pleural effusions on both lungs and there is also a pericardial effusion.  They may "tap" him tomorrow to take care of those.  He has enlarged lymph nodes around his heart and an enlarged spleen.  These are probably due to the infection-whatever it is.  They are continuing the "big gun" antibiotics but have taken him off Meripenum in case they need to use it later on. 

Trent has been on morphine, OxyContin, and oxycodone 24/7 to try to control the pain.  It has been really hit and miss as far as comfort goes.  He has held tight to his little bear from the BCCH EMTs.  I guess he is sending extra love to the kids. :) 

This afternoon I was really tired and laid down on the little couch to close my eyes for just a minute or two.  I awoke to see Trent putting a blanket on me.  What?!  He was dragging his IV pole with him to bring me a blanket to make sure I was comfortable.  What a sweetie.  Even when he feels like death he is thinking of me. 

Trent was getting pretty anxious this evening so we called my Dad and brother, Josh, to come give him a blessing.  It was a beautiful blessing of comfort and strength for all the procedures and treatments that are anticipated for tomorrow.  As soon as his blessing was done he asked my dad to give me a blessing as well.  He was upset because he couldn't do it himself but we put my chair right next to his bed and Josh held Trent's hand on my head so he could participate.  He is definitely the most loving and selfless man I have ever met.  I am the luckiest woman in the world to have Trent as my best friend, father to my children, and eternal companion.  I would walk this road a thousand times over for him.  It has been the hardest thing I have ever done to watch him suffer so much.  Through it all he has been such a strength to me.  We are anxious about what lies ahead but we are at peace.  I have faith that whatever happens will be for our good.  I am still praying and hoping for a miracle and believe with every fiber of my being that Trent can beat this.  He is the strongest person I know and I am beyond blessed to have him as my sweet husband.

We've Hit Another Bump in the Road

Happy New Year!  It is only January 1, 2012 and we have already met our deductible thanks to an ER visit, an ambulance ride, and what is looking like a four to five day stay at the beautiful Huntsman Suites.  Let's back up a few hours...

Yesterday was a mildly difficult day.  We have had worse, but it wasn't great either.  Trent has had some difficulty getting enough fluids to stay down for a long enough time to do him any good.  By 11:00 am yesterday I knew he needed IV fluids.  His blood pressure was  a little high, he had a touch of a fever, he was vomiting, and his heart rate was about 122-125 and climbing.   Being dehydrated can cause all of these symptoms.  I called Home Health and by 2:00 Trent was hooked up to IV fluids and trying to rest.  He got one liter of fluids before we decided he also needed IV Zofran (anti-nausea medicine).  We were hoping that after a bit of hydration the fever would come down and his heart rate would stabilize.  Not so.   Trent and I rang in the New Year by putting up another liter of fluid for his IV.  All night long I kept waking up to take his temperature and check his pulse.  After two and a half liters of fluid his heart rate was at 133 and he had a temperature of 100.9.  Anything over 100.5 for a chemo patient is not good.  We had Home Health come back and check Trent out.  Shortly after the nurse left she called back and said the on call physician at the Huntsman wanted Trent in the ER asap.  So we packed up and took him to BCCH hoping to get a few IV antibiotics and be on our way home.

In the ER they took some blood cultures, gave Trent some antibiotics and did a chest x-ray.  The ER doc came in and said he thought he had cracked the code.  Great!  This surely would mean that we could take a prescription and go home right?  Again, not so.  Turns out the doc really didn't have a very clear understanding of Trent's condition.  He thought the problem was that Trent had pneumonia.  Really all the density on the x-ray was the tumor.  After that little mix up he decided Trent needed another ambulance ride to SLC.  Wheee! 

Doug, Trent's dad, and I ran home to get the kids so they could see Trent before he left.  I had mixed emotions doing that.  On the one hand I didn't want them to get the impression that Daddy was not coming home, and on the other, I didn't want to take the chance.  Jonathan marched right into the ER and said, "Hey Dad, are you sick?  Are the doctors making you better?  Do you have owies?"  He was just chattering away like nothing was too big of a deal.  Trent hugged all the kids and was pretty emotional.  Zach and Mallory were crying.  Mallory kept saying, "I am getting tears on my cute little cheeks!"  Funny girl!  Jarom and Megan were pretty stoic through it all.  The rest of us had a good cry and then huddled up for a cheer for Team Trent.  Mallory ripped off her coat to show us that she was wearing her Team Trent shirt!  She was pretty proud of herself.  Then we said a prayer together.  We prayed for continued faith and courage and then turned it over to the Lord.  We are completely in His hands and we just have to ride out this storm. 

The EMTs came to get Trent but wanted to give the kids a little something before they took their daddy away. They pulled out little Teddy Bears for all of us. One EMT explained to the kids that they could hug those bears as much as they needed when they were scared or wanted to send a little extra love to mommy and daddy. Another EMT was a guy who went to school with my older sister. He was going to hand the bears to the kids but at the last second he gave them to the other EMT then he slipped around the corner and cried. I could see some of the other nurses tearing up too. Ugh. We must have been a real sight.

As Trent was being wheeled out, Jonathan said, "You are going to be all better Daddy!  The doctors are going to make you all better!"  I love the sound of that!  One of the nurses took all the kids to get a soda before they left.  That was very sweet and I think the kids thought they were in heaven. On the way home Jonathan was singing the tune of The Nutcracker. His version went like this, "da da dada Dad will get better, da da dada Dad will get better." We all had a much needed laugh about that. 

Josh drove down to SLC with me while his wife followed in her car.  By the time we arrived Trent was already resting in his room.  They have pulled out the big gun antibiotics for him once again.  He will be on Vancomycin, Meropenum, and a few others for the next 10 days or so.  After talking to our nurse I am guessing it will be at least four or five days in the hospital.  Trent has probably not even gotten as bad as he is going to get yet.  That point won't come for a few more days and they will probably want to keep him here until everything starts trending in the right direction.  I am totally okay with that.  I feel much better knowing that there is a team of people working to keep Trent alive instead of just me.