Trent is doing pretty well. We got discharged yesterday around noon. All day yesterday he help up pretty good but I could see him getting more and more tired. Today is worse. He just doesn't have any energy at all. To date he has not thrown up once. He has had a little nausea but we have pulled out the full arsenal of drugs to combat this and so far it seems to be working. When we were checking out of the hospital the nurse told us to expect blood transfusions by Monday because his counts were dipping so rapidly. I hope she is wrong but if not, we've been down that road before! I am sure we can handle it without too much trouble.
I am probably really dense but it is still very hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that this is our life. I keep thinking that someday he will be better and life will go back to the way it was. But guess what, it won't. Trent is physically scarred to the point that he will never return to "normal". There are many things that he will never be able to do again. I hope that he will be able to do the things he loves in just a slightly different way. I am sure we will spend the rest of our lives watching for cancer to return. I don't want to live in fear and neither does Trent. I guess that is part of having faith. Faith in the immediate outcome, and faith in the possibility of many, many good years to come.
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What is normal really? What we experience individually on a day to day basis is our normal. Normal changes. It isn't always the same. Perhaps it shouldn't even be a word. I think probably the greatest lesson we can learn in life is to love each day. It seems so darn trite. Yet, what else do we have? Yes we plan, we look to the future, but right now is all we really have. I have lived through so many days wasting and worrying and wondering how to change it all. I can't. I can't go back, I can't even go forward until I have lived through this minute. Of course we do not live in a utopia of happy moments getting through every day of our lives. It's hard. But it is still all we have. God bless your days in this trying and harrowing experience. But remember, Trent is really CUTE!!! He won't be the same, he should be better if he tries. But nothing will defeat his spirit. He rocks as do you, Holly.
ReplyDeleteHey Trent we are still pulling for you everyday in our prayers! We love you both and the family!
ReplyDeleteLove Aunt Peggy and Uncle Doug & family
We are too! (What Aug Peg said.)
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to stop by and say hi:) We continue to pray for you guys~ You guys are amazing examples. Love ya! Audra
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