A Week in Review

Last week was pretty good all things considered. Zach chose to stay home from MDT camp so he could spend time with Trent. He told me that there would always be more MDT but he might not ever get this time with Dad again. He is so mature for his age...I can't believe some of the things he thinks about. So he and Trent had some movie nights, chess games, checkers, and Wii time. They are pretty good buds and had a great time.

Jonathan is just learning to talk. He regularly comes to give Trent kisses and hugs and says, "Daddy sick." It is so cute and he is so tender with him.

We were lucky enough to have Trent's mom and sister come for a short visit last weekend. His mom spoiled him by running to get whatever meal he wanted from whatever fast food restaurant. I admit, I did that too during chemo. I guess Trent has that affect on us!

Yesterday was our doctor appointments with Dr. Jones and Dr. Gouw. Dr. Jones took the drains out of Trent's leg and side. He asked Trent what he had for breakfast and as soon as Trent started to answer he ripped them out of his leg. Trent screamed. Apparently it hurt pretty bad and we were told it usually doesn't. Then Dr. Jones moved on to the upper drains. Trent said, " I am not telling you what I had for lunch!" It was pretty funny and good that Trent could keep his sense of humor even though it was pretty painful.

We met with Dr. Gouw who said that he is pretty sure he is going to ditch Ifosfamide this time and go with a new drug. We are still doing to give the Doxrubicyn another try as it hasn't really had time to prove whether or not it is working yet. Trent will start chemo on August 2nd-one day before our 15th wedding anniversary. How romantic! We are going to be all alone (minus the 101 doctors and nurses) in a huge suite (nevermind the fact that I can't share the same bed or bathroom with Trent) with no kids in sight (not that we would want them to see any of that torture) for our anniversary! I can't wait!

Then we had to have Trent's port re-accessed. It was clotting and they had to put some medicine in it and let it sit for two hours. By this time Trent was pretty tired. They led us to their consultation room that was decked out with two huge couches covered in pillows, a flat screen TV, and warming blankets. We each took a couch, turned out the lights, and took a nap. It was awesome. When we woke up it was time to finish all the port stuff and get outta there! It was a really long day and Trent paid for it in pain last night. But on the brighter side, he slept better than he has for a long time!

Trent still has a pretty good attitude most of the time. While the nurse was fixing his port she told him how sorry she was that he had to go through this. His answer was immediate. He said, "I'm not, it is going to make me a better person." That honestly is what we are praying for, besides a cure, to be better people. We have to let cancer change us permanently and never go back to the way we were. It is all about the attitude. Trent read a short blurp about Glenn Beck last week. He has been told that he may loose his eyesight. Glenn's response was something like, "If I do, I will just thank God for letting me keep my sight for as long as He has." I know that is the right attitude, that we should be thankful for all we have, no matter how long we have it. But we are really praying for longevity!

We took a little trip to Walmart today to pick up a few things. It was really sobering. Trent had been doing really good and felt like he wanted to see the outside world again. He used the jazzy all through the store. While that was good for him, it really made reality set in a little more for me. I could see the stares and looks we were getting from those who passed us. I tried to smile at them all but found myself wondering if they were feeling sorry for us. The thought of that was a little hard to swallow. I know people feel sorry for our situation but I don't want them to feel sorry for us. I am not even sure there is a difference. It just makes our life more real to me. This stuff happens to other people, not us. I am supposed to be smiling sympathetically to someone else, not the other way around. That part of cancer is something I really hate. Who am I kidding? There is not really a part of cancer that I particularly like.