Two Months Closer

Sunday was our two month milestone.  Today is also nine weeks.  Wow.  I never thought I could possibly survive this long.  It has been the hardest, longest two months of my life.  Sunday was a very difficult day for me.  However, I am beginning to have more good moments-not days yet, but moments.  We celebrated our two month milestone by making carrot cake cupcakes, Trent's favorite.  Sadly, I used a new recipe and it was a total flop.  Oh well, what matters is that we were happy doing it and we are trying hard to look on the positive side of things.

After we had our crappy carrot cake I was getting kids ready for bed and came upon Zach in my room frantically looking through the video camera for any videos of Trent.  He was bawling and that set me off right away.  I pulled up the computer and Zach and I spent the next hour watching videos of Trent and crying like babies.  Jarom tried to join us for a minute but I think he doesn't quite know what to do with his emotions and he bailed out.  That was a heartbreaking night.  It is easier for me to feel sad and cry than for me to watch my kids do it too.  Some of the last videos we watched were when Trent was launching rockets with the kids in the summer of 2011.  He was having a hard time getting around but was really trying to enjoy himself.  We had to remind ourselves that Trent didn't want to live life like a cripple, always in pain, never being able to fully enjoy himself and we didn't want him to live like that either.  So in order for him not to suffer physically, we will now suffer his absence until we meet again.

Last week was Fall Break.  We had five whole days to do whatever we wanted.  I was a little nervous about taking the kids on our first "vacation" without Trent but I knew he would never waste five whole days off of school.  We decided a close-to-home, easy trip was best for now.  Wednesday I let the kids just hang out at home and play with friends.  Thursday we loaded up the burb and went to Hogle Zoo.  It was pretty much a major disappointment.  We had a fun time but the zoo is really not great.  By far our favorite zoo is still the Omaha Zoo.  Zach was actually getting depressed seeing all the animals in their lousy habitats.

Mallory, Jonny, Jarom, Zach, and Megan at Hogle Zoo

After the zoo we went to Wingers.  We have been there several times as a family to celebrate the end of school and such.  I thought it would be harder than it was to go places that we used to go with Trent.  I am pretty sure he was having a great time watching us and being happy that we were making an effort to make more family memories.

We then went down to my brother's orthodontic office in Orem to get the little nubs off my teeth from Invisalign and get braces for Megan.  She was less than thrilled about becoming a brace face but it will only be about a year until her smile is perfect.  When we left we stopped at Harmon's for snacks and of course Jonathan talked me into more snacks that Trent loved.  He is getting pretty good at that.  All he has to say is, "My Dad loves..." and I usually buy it.  What a sucker I am.  I guess I am just happy that Jonathan has some memory of his daddy and he is always right about what snacks he loves.

When I booked the hotel there was no vacancies in the hotels we normally stay in so we ended up at a different chain.  I was horrified when I actually saw it.  Trent always made sure we stayed in really nice places-no matter what the cost.  I tried to laugh it off but was really a little grossed out all weekend.  Lesson learned, book early.  We had a fun time swimming and then played some card games in our room.  It was actually a really good day.

We got up Friday and went to Cornbelly's at Thanksgiving Point.  There was a ton of stuff for everyone to do and the weather was perfect.  I noticed that there was a ton of moms there with their kids and not as many dads so it made me feel a little bit better about "blending in with the crowd".

We took this picture right before we all climbed about three stories up for a ZIP line.  We even made Jonathan go.  When he got to the top he wasn't happy about riding down but I told the attendant to push him off anyway then I jumped.  Jonathan screamed all the way down and continued to cuss us all out when he got to the bottom.  He was mad!  We were all laughing as he was telling us, "I never want to do that again!"

Getting harnessed for the ZIP line!

We played all day until we were exhausted then went to eat at Chili's. Jonathan was so tired he slept through the entire meal and all the way back to the hotel.

 While we were eating I started getting glum.  I was missing Trent really badly because we had just had a wonderful day that he would have been giddy about and he was not there to enjoy it with us.  I was losing my pep fast and there was no saving it.  When we got back to the hotel I bawled and bawled and bawled.  Jarom wanted to swim again but I couldn't do it.  I was spent.  I buried myself in a book by Neal A. Maxwell and let the kids make forts and watch TV all evening.  That was a rough night.

Museum of Ancient Life

Saturday we went to the Dinosaur museum and had fun digging for bones and playing all their Halloween games.  On the way home we stopped at Chuck-A-Rama and I think the kids were all in heaven.  They stuffed themselves and loved every bite.  I am pretty sure it is Jarom's new favorite place to eat.  

We had a fun weekend but it would have been so much better with Trent.  I can't wait for the day when I can say our whole family is together again.  We are trying to live life and do the things that will make good memories but it is hard when such a major part of us is not here.  As time passes the only consolation I feel is that we are that much closer to being reunited.  We are preparing everyday and praying for the Second Coming of Christ to be soon.  In the meantime, I have got to find a better carrot cake recipe!