Another Angel in Heaven

Last week was so busy and had so many good, but hard moments. About a week and a half ago I was at a friends' house and he told me that he had seen Trent's headstone when he went to pick out his wife's headstone.  Trent's headstone has not been set yet but is completed and sitting out at the monument place.  In my head I knew that was probably the case but I didn't really think about it because it is too hard.  So when my friend mentioned he went to the monument place, I half-jokingly asked if he had seen Trent's headstone while he was there.  When he said he had I instantly burst into tears.  He said it was beautiful and actually apologized for seeing it first.  I just didn't want to face it before, I could have seen it anytime I wanted to.  The next day while I was taking Megan to a friends' house we stopped to see the headstone.  As soon as I pulled in I was bawling.  It is just so final to see Trent's name in stone.  It doesn't bother me one bit to see mine there too though.  I don't actually think that there will ever be a death date by my name.  I am pretty sure the Second Coming will happen before that.  I asked Megan if it bothered her to see the headstone.  She said it was so final...like she had been living the past six months in a different reality.  When I dropped her off I was still bawling.  She said goodbye and started to run up to the house but turned around quickly.  She flung open the car door and said, "I love you Mom!"  I am so blessed to have her!

For FHE last week I gathered all the kids up and took them for frozen yogurt.  Then we parked at the temple and talked.  It was nice to have them all close and to have a chance to chat about things that are going on in our lives.  As my days are being filled with the business of getting back to life I feel like I haven't been taking as many moments to connect with my kids.  I know that none of them have REALLY grieved yet so I need to make sure that I am ready and have a good relationship with each one so they will be able to open up to me and feel like they are heard.

Wednesday I spent the day with Sandra.  We went to the Bountiful Temple together.  That is the temple that she and Paul were married in and it was her first time back since Paul passed away.  It was a hard day for both of us but I was so glad she let me share it with her.  After the session I got to the Celestial Room first.  I waited anxiously for Sandra to get there too.  As soon as I saw her enter the room I gathered her in my arms and we cried buckets of tears of anguish.  I think sometimes we expect too much to happen at the temple and that can be very devastating.  Sometimes the peace we need is so hard to find.  We spent several hours talking and crying and leaning on each other for support.  I can see how far I have come and to be able to look back and see a path of progress and healing is comforting to me.

That night I went to dinner with three widow/widower friends and had a blast.  It is nice to do something social again.  We always have a good time together and it especially helps that we all "get it".

Our family was asked to present a musical program at the nursing home last Thursday.  We have done that several times before and I was happy to have the chance again.  The last time we did it, Trent was with us and had a great time talking with all the residents.  As we performed I found myself looking for Trent in the audience, where he was last time.  It was kind of empty without him.

Shortly after we returned home I went with my dad to see Shea, a friend who had recently been put on hospice after battling cancer for two years.  In March of 2011, Trent and I went to visit Shea as soon as we heard about her diagnosis.  Neither of us had ever met her or her family before but wanted to offer any support we could to them.  We had such a sweet visit.  We both bore our testimonies about the love the Lord has for each one of us and the strength that we had been given to face our trial.  Shea and Trent became great friends and connected on a level that only two cancer warriors can.  Shea later told me about the strength she had been given by knowing Trent.  She would think, "If Trent can do this, then so can I."  Shea is a beautiful woman, inside and out, and we love her so much!

As I walked in the front door her mom met me with a hug and asked how I knew.  They really felt like Shea would pass away within a few hours of that time.  I had been thinking of Shea almost nonstop for the past few days and had even texted her on Monday.  When my dad mentioned her, I knew I had to go see her that night.  I am so glad I did!  I will never forget the feelings I had as I looked at her frail body and beautiful face.  I knelt by her bed and took her hand in mine.  I told her I was jealous that she would be seeing Trent before I would.  I asked her to make sure she gave him a big hug from me and remind him how much I love him.  I told her I was certain that Trent would be waiting for her so she wouldn't have to go find him.  I told her how much she meant to me and how grateful I was for her example to me.  She could barely speak but told me how much she loved me and Trent.  As I held her hand she gently pulled my hand to her lips and kissed it.  I wanted to scoop up her tiny body and hug her as tight as I could.  Those were some pretty emotional moments but it wasn't the tear your heart out kind of emotion.  I definitely look at death much differently than before.  I am happy for Shea.  She has suffered so much.  There is a reason for everything and someday it will all be explained.  I ache for her parents and the loss they are suffering.  But for Shea, I only see happiness and a life free from pain and the torment of her diseased physical body.  I know it won't be long before we are all together and again and Trent will take good care of her until then.  The last time my dad and I visited with Shea he gave her a blessing that she would be able to choose the day, the hour and the minute of her passing.  The time she chose was two days later on Saturday evening around six.  We will miss her dearly but the memory she leaves is one of grace and quiet faith.  We love you Shea!

Anna Shea Liston

October 4, 1987  ~  March 9, 2013

BRIGHAM CITY - Anna Shea Liston was called home to her Heavenly Father on Saturday, March 9, 2013. Cradled in her father and mother's arms, her final days were spent surrounded by family and friends that Shea had touched in some small way throughout her short, very memorable life.

Shea was a music aficionado. She loved songs from all genres and often introduced her siblings to songs she had been listening to. Attending concerts was her passion, and she often could be found listening and singing to music.

She had a quick mind, and loved to use it to strategize to a win in any game, especially Settlers of Cataan or poker. She, to our knowledge, never lost a game of monopoly. In her home, she was considered the "Yatzee Queen".

She was a lover of animals. Shea gained great joy in learning how to ride horses. She loved to play with grandpa's Llamas and over the course of her life time owned several pet birds, dogs, cats, fish, rabbits, turtles, chickens and worms. She wanted to own a lizard or a snake, but was unfortunately told NO. When a sick iguana needed a nurse, Shea took on the task and snuck him into her home where he made a brilliant recovery.

Nobody saw the world quite like Shea, which why she was such a fantastic photographer. She loved to capture the beauty she saw in the world, so most of her pictures were of other people.

She loved people more than anything in her life, and every where she went she drew a crowd to her. She genuinely cared for them, and spent her entire life looking to the needs of others. She didn't care what you wore or what you did or didn't do, she viewed everyone as children of God and always extended to them love and acceptance and support. Her smile was angelic, her laugh contagious. Her family will miss them both dearly. Throughout her struggles in life she continued to grow in beauty and strength. She gave us all courage and hope and reminded each of us the precious gift love and family is in this life.

Daddies special little girl was born at Fort Benning, Georgia on October 4, 1987. She graduated from Box Elder High School on June 2, 2006.

She is survived by her parents, Kelton and Jeneanne Liston; five siblings: Kennan (Kiley) Liston; Brandon Liston; Caroline (Stewart) Peterson; Jenessa Liston, Nick Liston; grandparents, Walter Davis, Audrey Liston and Charlene Davis. She was preceded in death by her grandparents, Gloria Glazier and William Liston.

Funeral services will be held on Saturday, March 16, 2013 at 1:00 p.m. at the Box Elder Stake Center, 420 South 800 West, Brigham City, UT. Viewings will be held on Friday, March 15th from 6:00 to 8:00 p.m. and on Saturday from 11:30 to 12:30 p.m. at the Stake Center. Interment will be in the Brigham City Cemetery.