We finished the last of the Neupogen shots last night which is always the worst part of chemo. Yay! Now on to feeling better! Trent had a couple of really tired days this round. I can't really blame the chemo though...it could possibly have been Daylight Savings coupled with the fact that I forgot to add the sleeping pill to the nightly pills. But, it was probably the chemo's fault. ;)
Trent is looking so good lately-minus the crazy man hair that he insists on keeping. He says it is his strength, like Samson, and won't let me touch it. He would probably look much better without it but whatever, if he is getting "strength" from the 33 hairs left on his head, so be it. :) I am not taking that away from him.
Last night I had a little pity party for myself. I am very weary of this trial and all the uncertainty that goes with it. I am frustrated that we are not more independent and are burdening my parents with our load. I am missing having my own house to decorate-I LOVE to do that. I am afraid for when we do have our own house too. Is Trent going to be able to work? Are we going to be able to afford the things we need? The kids are expressing themselves in different ways and I am not sure all of it can be blamed on their age, or phases they go through. Ugh. All those questions and feelings dumped on me last night. It is pretty lame timing though, we are being blessed immensely every day and I can plainly see that! I think I must have been feeling the effects of Daylight savings as well. After a quick cry and a good night's rest, I am over it. Mostly. :)
We are planning a little getaway for the family this weekend. Just an overnighter in a hotel and some fun activities for the kids. I am excited to go do something where I can really focus on them. It seems like I am way too busy (or lazy) during the week to give them the individual time they need. I often find myself too tired or ornery to love them the way they deserve. I probably need this getaway more than anyone else! The weekend can't come fast enough!
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Good to hear you're past the Neupogen shot again!
ReplyDeleteTrent, hurry and get better so we can work on our thesis projects and get our degrees together!
Wishing your family the best,
Scott
Holly, I wish I could have taken you for a girls night. However crying was definently the right thing to do. Trent, we are all so thrilled for your progress, keep smilin' elephant squasher. Love, Aunt Cindy
ReplyDeleteYou should cry and unload and throw rocks. You have such a load, Holly, more than anyone. And you are a mortal young woman who has been asked to bear so much. Do whatever you have to do to retain some sanity.
ReplyDeleteHolly.. We would LOVE to have the kids.. ALL of them for a while.. and just give you a break. I know that it is hard to ask.. but please, don't hesitate. We love you and you are more than friends.. we will do anything to help ease this burden. WE love you...
ReplyDeleteHolly,
ReplyDeleteI was at the Huntsman on Mar. 6th (tuesday) morning too. Our doctors office is right below the infusion room. Anyways, when I was there I was thinking about you guys and I almost went to the infusion room to see it because I haven't been there yet. Anyways, it is a small world and sometimes we feel like we're the only ones going through these things. But, I was there that same day thinking about you! Sorry to hear about your rough night last night. There are so many ups and downs with this trial. Enjoy this weekend!!!
Just a not to let you know I am still reading your posts and that my thoughts are with your family. ...Mark
ReplyDeleteHolly, thank you for sharing your personal thoughts with us all. I think that all of us are CERTAINLY entitled to break downs. I feel your pain in the depending-so-much-on-others department. When Tyler lost his job, we had to lean heavily on others for childcare, general support, even for financial concerns. It has been so draining for me to turn control over to the Lord and allow him to allow others to bless our family. A good friend "gifted" me monetarily about a year ago; although I was grateful for the gift, it was VERY, VERY hard for me to accept. She insisted though, telling me that by accepting her help, I was allowing her to keep sacred covenants which she had made with God. That point of view has helped me to accept the help of others since then. It's hard because I'd so much rather be on the giving end of the equation. As far as endurance in adversity goes, you are doing amazingly! Your strength in trials is blessing others in ways that you may not fully comprehend. Right now your family is in the business of growing the testimonies of others. We are all watching your family as they struggle, learn, grow, pray, and become. And watching such amazing examples of valiance under pressure, allows each of us to more fully learn and become stronger ourselves. It is such a blessing to know that faith is a renewable resource and regenerative in nature. I am so happy that you will be able to go do something fun with your sweet family. I know that the future will take care of itself for your family. You will decorate again. I know it. All things are possible with God. Love ya!
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