Another Big One

Yesterday was stressful to say the least.  We were waiting for a call from Dr. Carr to tell us the results of all the testing and about surgery.  We got the first call at 11:30 am.  Dr. Carr called to say that the fluid from the pleural effusion was negative.  No cancer there.  Yay!  Then we waited.  And waited.  And waited some more.  Finally at about 7:45 pm we got the second call.  The results were all in.  The little tumor they found on the diaphragm is cancer.  I was not surprised by this.  I was prepared for that part, but not for the rest.  Because that little blip was cancer that changes the whole nature of the surgery.  Now it is too big and complicated to do it here.  We have to go to Philadelphia.  They will remove most of Trent's left lung and his diaphragm.  They will also remove the lining of the chest wall on the left side.  Then they will do photo dynamic therapy that will destroy any cancer cells by burning 2mm deep inside his chest cavity.  After that they will rebuild a diaphragm and put him all back together.  It is still going to be a thoracotomy-meaning they will go in between his ribs on the left side.  We will be in Philly for at least two weeks, probably three.  Trent will be sensitive to all light, except fluorescent, for six weeks.  He will have to wear long sleeves, hats, and sunglasses everywhere he goes.  Any light that touches him will give him a third degree burn.  Even indoors.  After that he will most likely follow up with radiation therapy for a while. 

Wow.  That was pretty intense to listen to.  Trent and I both were very calm and took in all the news.  My mind was racing with questions though.  Trent asked if Dr. Carr would come with us.  He said he would do everything in his power to be there.  He is pretty amazing.  We have only met a few times but we really like him.  He is the same age as Trent and I think that is part of the reason he is pushing so hard for him. 

I was clarifying everything we had heard to make sure I understood correctly and I asked him if our goal was still cure.  He said, "Absolutely.  We would not do this extensive of a surgery if we did not anticipate a cure."  He also said, "Surgery alone is not curative."  Which is why we need the photo dynamic therapy and radiation. 

This was pretty heavy.  It was a lot of information and we were trying to take it all in.  Trent's initial reaction was to get started now.  Then he was mad.  It seems like we have to do everything the hardest way possible.  I told him it was his choice whether or not we accepted this treatment plan.  We took a minute to digest everything and then we sat the kids down and told them.  I was pretty much fine with everything except being away from our kids for so long during the holidays.  That made me cry for a bit.  I am pretty calm about the whole surgery though.  The only thing I am really worried about is traveling with Trent post-operatively.  That makes me just a bit nervous. 

When I went to bed last night I knelt down to say my prayers and the tears came flooding out.  My mind was full of all of these memories of a happy, healthy Trent.  Oh how I wish he was healthy again!  I can't imagine being so sick for as long as he has been.  I just want him to feel good again!  He sent me a text last night that I will save forever.  He wrote, "I will never stop fighting! You have my word that I will do my part.  With my love now & forever."  I love him so much and will travel to the ends of the earth and back to make sure he is well again.