Feed your FAITH and your fears will starve .

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Effects of Round 16

So far Trent has not been nearly as sick as he was last round.  He has felt crappy, tired, and experienced some terrible pain but the nausea and diahrrea have not been a big problem this time.  What is really kicking us this time is the anger.  The chemo makes him hyper sensitive to his emotions and he always has a couple of days of being really weepy and depressed.  He talks about what I should do with the kids when he is gone and so forth.  At first that really bugged me but I have come to know that is it just part of chemo.  I don't let it bother me like I did before.  After the weepy comes the anger.  Trent is bugged by just about everything and he gets to mad!  We talked to the docs about this last time and they confirmed it is a definite side effect of the chemo.  I knew that already.  I had researched the drugs and I know that is not how Trent is.  It shocked me the first few times it happened but now I just try to be the buffer between Trent and anyone else who might catch his wrath.  Only a few more days and hopefully it will all pass.

As bad as cancer is, we continue to be so blessed.  The past few weeks I have had a hard time.  I am in some sort of rut and I am working hard to get out of it but it is so difficult.  Over and over I have seen and felt the Lord reminding me that He is there.  Friends stop by out of the blue, packages arrive from friends and strangers, family members do some pretty amazing things for us, etc.  I know all of these people are little instruments in the Lord's hands being used to keep us going.  It is very overwhelming to be the recipients of so many acts of kindness and love.  Our race is not done and we have a long way to go.  Every little bit of encouragement helps us so much.  So to all of our amazing support system, a huge THANK YOU goes out to each of you!  We truly could not do this alone, it would be way too much to handle.  We will see this through and be better people for it.  I might end up in the looney bin but at least I will know we are loved!  :)


  1. We are always praying for you guys and we've putting your name on temple rolls across the country as we've been traveling. We are back in Utah now, and want to come visit you soon. We'll be in touch over email.

  2. I drove by your old house today...Miss you guys. We're still praying for ya, Trent! Thank you again for letting us know what is going on through this blog. Hang in there!

  3. Never in my life have I had a more amazing example of "enduring to the end". you'll get there - - just keep swimming ;)
    We're all behind you, trying to make the waves a little less bumpy...