Hard Week

Gemcytobine has, in the past, been okay.  But this week it hit Trent hard.  He has been in bed since Tuesday but was able to be up for church today.  He has had some difficulty with swelling this week.  We started him on Lasix last week and when he went for chemo Monday Grace told us to double the dose because it was not being effective yet.  So, we did that and then watched Trent's blood pressure go crazy.  114/44 is pretty scary.  So then it was a juggling act trying to balance the swelling and the blood pressure and how to treat each.  We were disappointed but not to surprised that this week was hard.  Trent has not had much of an appetite all week  long but today he slicked up his plate twice and  then finished off the kid's plates too.  That was a good sign and he seemed to be doing much better this evening-just in time for more chemo tomorrow!  It makes me sad that he is sick all week and then feels better for one day before it all starts over.  The way he keeps on going impresses me.  He has a determination that runs deep and gives me the strength to keep going too.  He is not a perfect patient.  He can be honery and mean and impatient.  But I don't even want to think about how mean and ugly I would be if I had to endure all the pain and discomfort that he does.  I know he is the one to have cancer because he is able to handle it so much better than I would.  As I watch him endure this trial I love him more and more.  He is my rock, and I love him to LIFE!