Feed your FAITH and your fears will starve .

Monday, October 4, 2010

Stay in the Present

Is this week over yet? Dang, six days to go.  It's gonna be a long one!  We are here at the Huntsman for Round 6 and a blood transfusion.  Trent's bone marrow is just not bouncing back the way it did the first few rounds.  So along with chemo he gets a juicy little elixir of blood.  Kind of sickening to watch it go in-not out.  Trent has been super tired lately but other than that, okay.  We are gearing up for another go around with the Taxotere next week.  The docs have given us some pointers and new meds to combat the terrible pain that Trent endured last time.  They said it doesn't usually hit people quite that hard.  Leave it to Trent to be the odd man out.  It seems like if there is a weird side effect or symptom, Trent gets it. 

We had an eventful weekend in Idaho.  Trent even went swimming with us.  He said it felt really good to be in the water but was soooooo exhausted afterwards.  He attended the Priesthood session of conference with his brothers and dad and had a nice time.  I am sure it will take a few days to rest up after his travel--just in time to be knocked down again by chemo.  What a cycle!  I know Trent is really looking forward to a time when he doesn't feel tired.

Lately I have had a very hard time not imagining the future and what it may hold.  Not a pretty picture.  I feel almost as if I am betraying Trent or giving up if I let myself wonder if I am making memories or if this will be a memory.  But I had a great visit from two friends today who helped me remember that God is mindful of me individually.  As we were speaking they both said at different times, "Stay in the present."  That is really what I needed to hear and I know that is what the Lord wanted me to hear.  I am so grateful for those who allow themselves to be instruments in God's hands. 


  1. Holly, you have wise friends. I think that is wonderful advice for all of us. Stay in the present. It's so meaningful. We only have this moment. No one knows what the next will bring. Even if you aren't fighting the ugliness of a disease like cancer, it still is is wise counsel. I miss you. I know you don't often feel like talking. But I hope somehow you feel of my love. I know it's probably pretty abstract but I don't mean for it to be. I love you right now, in the present and forever.

  2. Such good advice, and so true. I know it's hard not to think too far ahead. I did it all the time, and I still do! Oh, my heart goes out to you like you wouldn't believe. You are always in my prayers. And the Lord IS mindful of you, Trent and the kids. He IS there. Stay strong my friend. Love you <3

  3. Nothing more that I can say other than.. Love you guys.. You are the best people EVER! We are so lucky to have you guys in our lives.. being that great example.. :)
    We love you!

  4. hang in there- one day at a time!! xoxo

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  6. Stay in the present... those words are hard to actually live by; True words, by very hard. To stay in the present when the present isn't very favorable is a tougher thing to do then say. But I can only do it knowing that I am not facing it alone. Thank goodness for the tender mercies of the Lord each day to remind us of his love for us; like your two friends. Eric and I have gone to the the temple twice within these past 2 weeks and will be going again this Tuesday. We add you and Trent every time, we hope you can FEEL the strength from these prayers being prayed in your behalf. I get so emotional when I am there thinking and praying for you guys. Much Love You, Tanya

    p.s sorry for removing then adding again. I just wanted to add an extra thing. =)