Life is Crazy Good

A couple of weeks ago I was having a particularly hard day.  It was right after I found out that Mark Kailing had passed away.  Of course his passing stirred up some difficult emotions for me and I found myself asking the unanswerable question, "Why?"  I had been listening to Christian music, like I always do, and the song that came on right then was Casting Crown's "Praise You in this Storm", Trent's favorite song.  It reminded me of Trent's amazing attitude and how much he was grateful for even as his body and mind were ravaged by cancer.  It was a simple reminder that I needed to follow his example and be that strength for LaDena as she starts down this new path...the path to healing.  That evening as I was stomping around the kitchen trying to act like I was fine there was a knock on the door.  Our neighbor from Providence, Dave, was standing in the entry with a big smile on his face.  He said he had picked up something for me a while ago and was really excited to give it to me.  As he unraveled the gift I burst into tears.  I couldn't contain myself.  It was a flag that says "Life is Crazy Good".  Trent always said everything was "crazy good".  Dave shared his memory of Trent at a neighborhood BBQ enjoying the food and when he saw the flag he knew he had to get it for me.  

It was a really good reminder for me.  Life is crazy good and I needed to remember that and not ask questions that won't be answered yet.  These are just a few of the reasons that life is crazy good:

Megan,  Mallory, Zach, Jonny, and Jarom.  

1-I love these kids so much!  On the last day of school I picked up lunch and took all the kids to the batting cages in Logan.  We had a great time playing, eating, and batting.  I love that school is out!

2-I have an amazingly talented and beautiful daughter who is my strength.  She impresses me everyday with the profound and mature things that come out of her mouth.  She has worked very hard this year to be a good student and be an example to her siblings.

Megan giving me the stink-eye at her choir concert.

Megan and me celebrating after she took the AP World History exam.

3-Jonny is growing like weed and his mouth moves not stop.  Unfortunately part of that movement is eating candy and he ended up with a couple cavities that he had to be sedated to fix because he is waaaay too wiggly in the dentist chair.

Jonny loved that the dentist has a TV on the ceiling.

When he woke up from the sedation I got to hold him and help him continue to wake up.  He was sooo funny!  At one point he told me that things were "outta control".  When he got home Mallory waited on him hand and foot.  She fed him popcicles and pudding and whatever else he asked for.  All the kids were especially nice to him.  It was a moment that made my heart happy to see them all care for him so tenderly.

4-This adorable little girl is the most tender, sweet little girl ever.  She can be a handful at times but I love her so much!  She told me the other day that she never wants me to be alone.  She was headed off to stay with her cousin for a week and was having some real anxiety about it.  I told her she had done it before and she was fine.  I didn't know what the problem was.  She said, "Yeah, but that was when I had two parents!  Now I only have one and I don't want you to be lonely while I am gone.  That is why I always go to the soccer games with you.  I don't want you to be alone."  What a sweetie!

Mally ripping it up at the batting cages.

5-Last Saturday Zach and I went to lunch to celebrate him getting 100% on all three Core Tests for school.  He was the only student in the whole school to achieve that.  We have heard that it has only happened a couple of times before.  He is definitely the smarty pants of the family.  During our "date" he made sure to get every door for me.  Our lunch conversation included Darwinism, the Theory of Evolution, and Robinson Crusoe.  Wow, was I in over my head!

6-Jarom is a great kid.  He is testing the water right now but is quick to apologize when I let him know he has crossed the line.  He has had a great season playing soccer.  He had made a great impression as goalie for his team.

Jarom had a great time at the batting cages.  That darn kid is good at everything he tries!

7-For Jarom's birthday a friend of ours gave him tickets to an RSL game.  He invited his friend Tyler and then Zach and I tagged along.  I wore Trent's shirt and hat and was determined to enjoy the game like he would.  We danced, we cheered, stuffed our faces, and even watched the game.  That is a first for me...I usually watch the people in the crowd instead.  I felt a little closer to Trent doing something with our boys that I know he loved.

In between all the fun we fit in another bittersweet first, Memorial Day.  I invited Trent's family to come share some time with us at the cemetery and we had a BBQ afterwards.  It was really hard for me.  I held in most of the tears but it was really hard to think that we were all there to visit my husband's grave.  Ugh.  It still shocks me when I think about it.  I sat there watching all the brothers put a comforting arm around their wives and thought..."Wow, how I would love to have Trent's arms around me right now."  I had to step away a few times to pull myself back together.  It was a tough day but we lived through it.

Even with all the tough times we still have, we are making the most of every day.  We smile more, we laugh more, and most importantly, we love more.  And that makes life "crazy good".

I am one blessed mama!