Lookin' For the Corner

Trent has been trying for the last week to find the ever elusive "corner" to turn.  He has been nauseous and had difficulty breathing.  He has a difficult time sleeping because he has so much fluid in his abdomen that when he lays on his back he feels like he is suffocating.  When he lays on his left side it makes his hip area burn because there is no muscle to lay on.  He can't lay on his right side at all because of the 20 pounds of fluid in his chest making it nearly impossible to breathe.  We have tried playing a cd with soft music that is supposed to help him sleep but the music doesn't really have an end and it bothers Trent.  Last night I read the Ensign to him until my mouth was too dry to continue.  I finally played a conference talk on the iPad and it put me right to sleep. :)  Oops.  Trent had to wake me up to tell me that the talk was over and to put the iPad away.

This morning he said he slept better but was still up every few minutes trying to find a comfortable position.  I decided to call Dr. Carr and see if we could do Lasix to get some of the fluid out of Trent's abdomen and hopefully make breathing and sleeping a little easier.  Dr. Carr said that was a good idea.  He said that instead of taking the giant potassium pill that usually accompanies Lasix, we are going to have Trent eat a bunch of watermelon and bananas.  Lucky him!  We talked about the hematomas on Trent's chest.  They have been growing rapidly and are quite large now.  We have been icing them and using essential oils but I read that compression could help as well.   We are going to try wrapping his chest with an ace bandage to see if that will help.  I know the biggest factor is time but it is difficult to not see any improvement there and it would be good to have them gone.  Hopefully we won't need to have a drain put in.  I have been keeping a close eye on the sarcoma on Trent's side.  It actually appears to be smaller than before.  Maybe the Pazopanib is working!  Who knows...but it would be great if it was working already.  We meet with Dr. Gouw on Monday to see how everything is going.  I called Katie, Dr. Gouw's nurse, yesterday to see about having the scheduled labs done.  I was beginning to get a little concerned that Trent's liver was suffering but all the sypmtoms could be explained away by something else as well.  I wanted to make sure the labs were all normal.  However, since we are going to be there on Monday and the fact that last weeks' labs were totally normal, we decided to wait on the labs.

Trent is still having a difficult time mentally but we are doing all we can to boost him up a bit.  We have made a goal to get him outside of the house at least every day, even if it is just to sit on the porch swing for a bit.  He has really enjoyed watching the Olympics the last couple of weeks.  We will have to find something else for him to watch when that is over.

I have been thinking a lot this week about how prayers are answered directly and indirectly.  Last week after I lost my job I was super positive and quite frankly, relieved to be out of that job.  It just wasn't the same after my boss left.  But then of course, reality hit me smack in the face and the weight of our situation fell directly on my shoulders.  I felt a little bit like Job from the Bible.  (I know, how audacious of me to compare myself to Job...) I felt like a failure because the only thing I really had to do was keep insurance for Trent and I had failed to do that.  I was feeling pretty scared and apprehensive about what the future holds for us.  When we went to the Huntsman I received answers through two different people that I really needed.  As I was talking to Jan, Dr. Carr's superwoman, she was telling me about her own experiences and she said, "I don't worry about things too much because I know that God will help me.  He will take care of me."  Shortly after that I was talking to Angelique and she said, "I firmly believe that things happen for a reason and  it is likely that things will turn out even better than you had hoped."  Many different people have offered their support and well wishes but those two sentiments resonated with me.  I know we will not be left alone.  This is just another bump in our avalanche. :)  So, the job hunt goes on.  I have been blessed to have several people offer suggestions and leads and ask for my resume`.  I am sure the next great job is just around the corner.  So for now, we are looking for the corner!