The Ugly Just Got Uglier

Sunday night was surely a night to remember-or forget.  At about 10:00pm Trent started having some pretty severe chest pains.  I tried to medicate him and get it to go away but it was not letting up.  I called the Huntsman and spoke to the on call physician.  She suggested that I get Trent down to U of U ER.  As we were getting ready to go, Trent had an explosion of pain and his condition worsened dramatically.  I decided to drop everything and get him the BC ER.  I really didn't think he could make it even to McKay Dee. 

We ended up being taken care of by two of my little brother's friends, Gil Hollingsworth and Cory Kaminska (who also happens to be my brother-in-law's nephew.)  Small world.

Anyway, I thought he may have had a pulmonary embolism because he had been coughing up blood for the past couple of weeks.  We had called our nurse Katie, and discussed the problem but she thought it could wait until the next scan.  So when we got to the ER they immediately gave Trent some Dilaudid to relieve the intense pain in his chest.  They monitored his heart and did an xray while they were trying to get him stable enough to transport him to U of U. 

 This picture was obviously taken AFTER the pain meds kicked in.  The xrays did not tell us too much but there was not an obvious blockage so they decided to put him in an ambulance and send him to SLC.  By this time it was about 2 am. 

 This is Trent being loaded up for his first ride in an ambulance.

 Trent was a little disappointed that they did not run the lights and sirens the whole way down to U of U.  They did go pretty fast though.  Luckily there are not too many people on the road in the wee hours of the morning!

I did not ride with him but ran home to gather enough things to stay a couple of days in SLC.  I had to stop to get gas and some 5 hour energy drinks.  I was not sure I would be able to stay awake the whole way down.  The energy drinks really work!  I only drank 1/2 a bottle but it perked me right up!  As I was driving I was pretty calm.  I was praying for reassurance and right at that moment I realized that the song, "I am a Child of God" was playing on my car stereo.  Of course the weeping began then, and the danger became 'not seeing the road', instead of 'falling asleep'. 

Surprisingly I got to the hospital not too long after Trent did.  I thought I was much farther behind him than that.  They immediately began monitoring his heart, did an EKG, put him on oxygen, and the works.  My real fear was the pulmonary embolism and they didn't seem to be actively pursuing that possibility.  A few hours later they had an ultrasound of Trent's legs done to see if he was clotting there.  All was clear on that test.  Then we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  We were the first ones to be in that room at the new ICU and I guess the staff was still not quite used to how to run this new ICU because everything was SO SLOW! 

 Does this look like a guy who needs the ICU?  Everyone kept saying how great he was doing.  Especially since the guy in the next room had just had his last rites and his whole family was coming and going all day.  That was sobering.

We were starting to figure out that the MICU doc had thought he had transferred Trent to Pulmonary to be treated but the word had not been spread so Pulmonary was still waiting-and they did not have a bed for Trent.  We kept asking our nurses when something was going to happen and they, of course, knew nothing. We knew Trent needed an Echocardiogram, AngioCT and a bronchoscopy.  Finally at around 5:00 pm everyone wanted to do their tests all at the same time.  He had the echo and it came back clear. No heart damage.  Then they did the bronchoscopy.  Trent wanted to stay awake for it so they gave him the lowest dose of sedative.  He sucked it up like a sponge.  It didn't even phase him.  They kept giving him more and more Fentanyl and Versed to relax him.  After each dose they would try to do the scope.  I watched the whole thing.  It was pretty gruesome.  Trent was gagging and choking, it was awful.  Finally they pretty much knocked him out and did the scope.  Dr. Boltrax, the ICU dr., promised to take a bunch of pictures for Trent to see.  It was fascinating watching the scope of Trent's lungs.  I kept expecting to see a big ugly tumor but no such luck.  Everything looked pretty good.  They were unable to locate the source of the bleeding though so the scope didn't end up being very helpful.  The worst part about it was that they had been expecting to the scope all day and therefore wouldn't let Trent eat anything.  He had not eaten since Sunday at 2:00 pm and now it was 6:30 pm on Monday.  He was famished!  They said they would get food ordered for him right away.  Finally at 8:00 pm I went to the cafeteria and got a Reuben sandwich to share with him.  As soon as he ate that, his dinner came.  Whatever.

 This is Trent trying to relax after the bronchoscopy.  It was pretty intense for awhile.

The next day we waited forever for the AngioCT.  They finally did that around 1:00 in the afternoon.  We learned that there was no pulmonary embolism but that the largest tumor that had been shrinking, was now mutated and growing rapidly.  Not great.  The other tumors are growing as well and there are more of them.  Also not great.  We waited for a few more hours for someone from oncology to come see us.  The room was freezing and we were both really ready to go home. 

This is Trent trying to stay warm in that freezing room! Ugh!  Why don't they at least make it comfortable there?

Finally Dr. Jones from the Huntsman came to see us.  While he was there the pulmonary doctors came back to say that they wanted Trent to stay for one more night so they could observe him.  He stood right up and said, "Absolutely not.  I will be going home today."  Dr. Jones agreed that it was not necessary for Trent to stay.  The worry is that if Trent coughs up blood again, and it gets worse, he doesn't have much time to get help.  Scary.

Dr. Jones told us what we already knew about the tumors.  He said that "one of our tools was broken". Meaning mainstream chemo does not work for us anymore.  We are going to look into radiation and possibly a clinical trial.  We already have appointments set up for Monday. 

I am not going to lie.  The last couple of days have been VERY hard.  We have cried buckets of tears.  Just when I think I am dry I cry more.  I feel like we are being painted into a corner and our options are getting fewer and less reliable.  But, we do still have options.  And we still have our faith.  Right now that is what I am clinging to the most. 

While we were at the U of U we were visited by a social worker who was concerned about our support group.  She asked me specifically who I turn to.  Trent is always the one I turn to.  I have never been a real "girlfriend" type of girl.  When I need to talk-Trent listens to me.  But her question left me wondering who else I had to lean on.  Within 24 hours I got phone calls from two very good friends who both said they could not stop thinking about me and felt like they should call.  It is very humbling to know how much my Heavenly Father loves me and is waiting at every turn to answer a prayer.  I am in awe.  However humbling that is, I am still a little greedy.  I really need the miracle we have been praying for, and I need it really quick!