I AM

This morning Zach was frantically trying to get his assignment for Language Arts to print from my computer but was running out of time.  I told him I would print it and bring it over to school for him.  When I finally got everyone out the door and the dishes done, I sat down at my computer and read the poem Zach had written for class.  Of course, I was bawling instantly...

I AM

I am sorrowful and lost.

I wonder if my father is near.

I hear my mother cry at night.

I see reminders everywhere.

I want to run and hide.

I am sorrowful and lost.

I pretend it never happened.

I feel my heart crunch with sadness.

I touch the soft reminder.

I worry we will never recover.

I cry when no one else can see.

I am sorrowful and lost.

I understand it had to happen.

I say, “It’s better this way”.

I dream of going home again.

I try my best each day.

I hope it will get better.

I am sorrowful and lost.

This evening as I was taking Zach to renew his fishing license I told him how amazing I thought his poem was.  He told me his teacher had read it to the class and his classmates had applauded him.  He was very matter of fact about everything, but that is so Zach.

I sat quietly for a moment while my eyes starting "sweating", as Zach calls it.  I told him how sorry I was that this was his life and that I wished it could be different for him.  This was his reply to me, "It's okay Mom, I just figure that everybody was foreordained to their trials in life.  I think that this had to happen to me so I could comfort somebody else.  I don't even think I would change it if I could because it was obviously supposed to happen this way and it is only for such a short time and then we can be together forever.  So, if I can help just one person, then it is worth it.  I know that the worth of one soul is of infinite worth to Heavenly Father.  That is why I am so excited to serve a mission...it is going to be really great, ya know?"

Wow.  I was so humbled to hear those words from my 13 year old son.  He is pretty amazing...and just like his father.  Trent would have been so proud to hear that little speech from him, and I am pretty sure he did.  I am so proud to be his mother.  I am in awe.  I am so blessed.