Round TWENTY-ONE!!!

Here we are again, in the thick of chemo.  Twenty-one rounds.  Wow.  That is so hard for me to wrap my mind around.  When Trent was first diagnosed I thought the most you could do was five.  I am so glad I was so clueless.  It would have been even more devastating than it already was.  

Wednesday morning my dad asked if I wanted him to give Trent a blessing before we left.  I thought it was a little odd because it was just regular chemo, not scans.  I shrugged and told him he could if he wanted to.  Right after that Trent's Aunt Susan called out of the blue.  She asked if he had his blessing for the day.  After that I figured someone was trying to tell us something and Trent better have a blessing.  I called my dad and he came home from work to administer to Trent.  It was another beautiful blessing that had us both bawling. One of the first things my dad said was that all of the difficulties Trent is having are still lessons to be learned.    Trent started bawling then.  That was a little discouraging to hear.  What haven't we learned?  Why don't we just hurry up and learn it?  Oh wait, maybe the lesson is PATIENCE.  Anyway, the rest of the blessing was very specific and very comforting.  I am so grateful to my dad for being the priesthood man that he is.  He has been such a support for us and is always ready and willing to lay his hands on our heads and call upon heaven for blessings.  

Right before we left for SLC Trent went downhill.  He was feeling really yucky and was a bit dizzy.  I am sure it is hard for him knowing he is heading down to be poisoned.  By the time we got there he was a little bit better.  When he checked in they weighed him and he was up about four pounds.  That was good to see because we have both been a little concerned about the rapid weight loss.  All of his labs came back looking pretty good.  Nothing is too out of whack.  He is still a little anemic though.  Our nurse, Katie, came over to check in on us and get us some scripts.  She was surprised and happy to see how good Trent looked.  Even being under the weather he still looks about 10 times better than he did one month ago.  We asked about the bumps on his arm that keep coming and going.  No one has any idea what those might be so I will just continue to take pictures of them and keep track of them.  Katie also said that if Trent starts feeling a little "punky" we should call and they will give him blood.  She told us about another patient who is having a hard time fitting chemo into his family life.  Once again, we realized how lucky we are to be in the situation we are in.  We never have to worry about who will take the kids.  My mom has alleviated so much of that burden for us.  She never even bats an eye at the extra work we are for her.  She is such a trooper and we are so grateful.  We have been so blessed!

While we were in Infusion someone brought in some fast food.  The smell made Trent really sick so I whipped out my trusty Peppermint oil and shoved it under his nose.  Wala! No more nausea!  I really like that peppermint-and peppermint loves Trent!  We now carry it everywhere Trent goes.  

We were lucky enough to have Scott and Heather Church come spend some time visiting with us.  They were in our ward in Lincoln and have now moved to Sandy.  Scott is a cancer survivor and can relate to a lot of what Trent is going through.  It was really fun to talk with them and spend some time laughing.  I had so much fun I forgot to pull out my camera.  Next time...

After chemo we stopped at Red Robin for some dinner.  Trent had been craving a burger all day.  Unfortunately by the time we got there the chemo was starting to hit him.  I was able to get a decent picture but he is really faking a smile.  Right before I took this picture he was laying on the table trying not to moan too loudly.

Thursday was not too bad.  Trent slept most of the day.  That's fine with me...as long as he is not in pain.  I gave him his Neupogen shot around 8 pm.  It was all downhill after that.  He woke up this morning really sore and having some really bad back pain.  Round the clock pain meds are now ordered up for him for at least a few days.

Aunt Susan and her son, Jared, came down from Rexburg today to visit.  Jonathan practically mauled Jared all day.  Jared was a really good sport and played blocks, trains, and wrestled with Jonathan.  I think Jonathan was excited to have some attention from someone other than Mom and Grandma.

Trent enjoyed his visit with Susan and Jared and we are thankful they drove all the way down to see him.  We were lucky they came when they did because he is definitely headed downhill.  He is probably going to be out of commission for at least the next few days.  We are going to try to keep it to days, not weeks, so we can have some fun before we do this all over again!  Sigh...

Daddy's Chair

Big Daddy got a new chair!  Trent has wanted a new chair for a little while now.  He has a hard time getting comfortable in regular chairs because he is soooo long!  I told him as soon as he was well enough to shop for one he could have it.  Last night we went out in the middle of a snowstorm to get a chair.  Within ten minutes of walking into the first store his chair was bought and paid for.  Talk about shopping like a man!  

No buyer's remorse here!

 As soon as the chair was delivered Trent snuggled in for a test drive.  It wasn't too long before Jonathan had to join him to break it in.  What a cheeser!

Man I love these boys!

Forward with Hope and Faith

We have had a few ups and downs since Wednesday.  Thursday was really iffy.  I was really hoping that because Trent had been doing so well on Tuesday and Wednesday, he would be able to continue right on up to Infusion day this Wednesday.  If there is one thing we have learned about cancer...it is that it is unpredictable.  As much as I try to track all the side effects from one round to the next, cancer still throws in a turn or two I did not expect.  Needless to say, I was very disappointed when Trent started heading downward again.  He just didn't feel well Thursday.  He didn't sleep well and wasn't able to eat too much, just no appetite.  He weighed himself and was irritated to see that he was losing more weight.  He is now down to 205, from 228 just three weeks ago.  He also started to cough up blood again.  This time it was more (almost 1 cup in a 24 hour period), to the point that I was getting nervous.  I called Dr. Carr on Friday night and talked with him about it.  He said that if Trent coughed up the same amount Saturday and Sunday that he would need to see him on Monday for sure.  Once again, we called our little family around us and said a very fervent and specific prayer. Not surprisingly the coughing has stopped, the appetite is back, and last night Trent did NOT have cancer sweats!  I cannot deny those results.  We have asked for very specific things and have been blessed over and over again to see answers to those prayers.  We try to point that out to our kids...I hope they are listening!  We are truly being watched over.  I get excited to say my prayers at night because that is my "check in time"  where I get to report the days' events and thank my Heavenly Father for His watchful care of my husband and family.

I have been doing some reading about how to help Trent strengthen his lungs.  I have had him working on the incentive spirometer for a few weeks now.  He goes up and down in how high he can get the little ball.  I also read that he should be eating small meals several times a day.  We have tried that and it seems to be working well for him.  Hopefully he will be able to gain a few pounds before Wednesday!

Yesterday Trent was able to come to Sunday School and Sacrament meeting with us.  We had him on oxygen and he was doing pretty well.  During Sacrament meeting he was coughing a little bit so I reached for a Ricola.  Suddenly he got a stabbing pain in his abdomen.  He inhaled sharply and grabbed his side.   He was writhing and wincing in pain.  I looked up at the stand to see if my dad was seeing this.  He was completely oblivious but his counselor, President Bailey was on full alert.  I could tell he was waiting for the sign from me to sprint off the stand and carry Trent out.  One look and he would have flown to our rescue.  Luckily, after a very intense minute or so, the pain subsided.  Trent was sweating and panting.  I meekly offered him that stupid Ricola I was still holding.  Wow, I am sure that helped! :s  When the meeting ended Jonathan was asleep.  I was carrying him while trying to hold up a very wobbly Trent who kept saying he was going to pass out.  I am sure we were quite the sight!  My friend Suzanne swooped in and grabbed Jonathan out of my arms so I could get Trent to the car.   Maybe it is good that "all eyes are on us" sometimes. :)

Last night Trent was doing great.  He watched football with my family and really enjoyed himself.  While he watched I went to a fireside with Megan to celebrate 100 years of Seminary.  President Boyd K. Packer spoke and he advised us all that we need to continue forward with hope and faith.  That is what it is all about, hope and faith...in a forward motion.  There is not time to sit still.  So, on we go...

Good Times!

Trent was feeling pretty good yesterday so I asked him out on a date.  We went to see the afternoon showing of Sherlock Holmes.  I am certain we were BY FAR the youngest people in the theater.  We kind of laughed about being at the "early bird" show.  As soon as we got there Trent had some stabbing pain which we quickly medicated.  We were able to enjoy the entire show without incident and had a great time.  We made it home just in time to see Megan traipse over to Young Women's in my sister's wedding dress.  They were having a modest fashion show and that is what Megan chose to wear.  I did her hair in an "up do" and put flowers in it.

Yes, it was kind of weird to see Megan in a wedding dress and it freaked Trent out just a little.

Just before bed last night Trent had some really wicked pain.  It was easily a ten on the pain scale and he was difficult to calm down.  We put warm bean bags on his back and rubbed some oil on him to get him to relax.  It worked pretty quickly but he didn't sleep much last night.  He says he asked me for pain medicine and I only half-way remember that.  I think I rolled over and went back to sleep.  Oops.

Trent has another lump on his arm again.  He got two of them last round and the docs thought they were either bug bites or sarcoma.  Both of them went away rather quickly.  Now, at the same point in the cycle as last time, another one has popped up.  It looks to be in the same spot as one of them from before.  It is pretty tender too.  We marked it with a pen and will watch it closely for any changes.

We outlined the bump but you can hardly see it.

These are the bumps from last round that went away.

All things considered, Trent is doing pretty well.  MOST of the day he is in good spirits and feels okay.  If we could just get better at anticipating the rough spots, he would be doing better.  However, I had a date with my hubby and that hasn't happened in a very long time.  Good times, good times!

On the Upswing-I hope!

Trent seems to be doing a little better today.  I think he hits his low point in chemo pretty early because his bone marrow has been wiped out so many times before that it doesn't take much to wipe it out now.  Friday and Saturday were pretty hard for Trent.  Sunday he had some pretty intense pain for a short time but we got that under control, mostly, and he was pretty good after that.  Brother Law, our elders quorum pres, and his son, Justin brought Trent the sacrament yesterday.  I know he appreciates that so much.  Trent hates to miss church and is often willing to try to come when I have to say 'no'.  We have had a few 'episodes' at church that I do not wish to repeat so it really is better for Trent to stay home for now.  I hope by next Sunday he will be ready to go.

Trent is still struggling with agitation.  He worries so much about what each kid is doing that he gets all hyped about stuff he could really let go.  I tried doubling up on the Valium last night and this morning, which Dr. Gouw suggested if we are not seeing a change.  I hope that does the trick for him.  I was hoping it would also help with the night sweats but so far, nada.  No help in that category yet.  If I could get Trent to sleep all night without sweating or having to use the bathroom I think he would be one happy camper.

Yesterday Trent started coughing up a little blood again.  It must be that point in the chemo.  It started at the same point last time but it landed him in the hospital.  I am crossing my fingers that we are past the danger zone already.  He was a little feverish on Friday and Saturday but never high enough to warrant a visit to the ER.  We immediately started the prayers for no fever and no coughing.  So far, I think they are working pretty well.

Last night we had a fun movie night with the kids and all the blankets and pillows they could carry.  We watched 'Bedtime Stories' and had a fun time.  I didn't even think to get out my camera...duh.  Oh well, a great time was had by all and that made for a great night!

Still Hanging On

The effects of round 20 have fully hit, I think.  Thankfully Trent is not violently ill like he has been during several other rounds.  He is in excruciating pain at times but we are doing everything we can to keep that under control.  Heat pads, essential oil, and pain medicine seem to be helping quite a bit.  I think all the pain is coming from the Neupogen shot he has to have every day.  It is the shorter lasting version of Neulasta, which was horrible for him during previous rounds.  The pain is all over his neck, shoulders, and back.  I have been giving him back and foot massages to try and keep him calm.

Other than the pain, everything else seems to be in check.  All of his vitals look great, much better than they have been as of late.   Our goal is to keep him out of the hospital this round.  If we can do that, I think he will get some good days to enjoy before we go back.

I wonder how Trent has done this so many times.  He has amazing stamina and his determination is never ending.  I can't believe how strong he is...I am so lucky he is mine.

Round 20!

The last couple of days have been a little more iffy than the weekend was.  Trent has been pretty tired.  I think it is mostly because he sweats like crazy at night and therefore doesn't get very good sleep.  For some reason that no one knows, cancer sweats only happen at night.  That means Trent naps for more of the day than normal and doesn't get really rested at night. 

He has also been more agitated lately.  He is frustrated by the lack of sleep and never feeling 'great'.  We agreed that round the clock Ativan was in order. :)  Other than the lack of sleep and anger, Trent seems to be doing much better.  The dark circles around his eyes are even starting to lighten up. 

We were scheduled for a visit with Dr. Gouw this morning and infusion this afternoon.  Trent was not feeling too hot when we left but seemed better by the time we made it to SLC.  On weigh in Trent had lost about 12 pounds from last Wednesday.  So unfair.  His heart rate was a bit high, probably because he had been walking around and he was just a bit nervous. 

When we finally saw Dr. Gouw he was amazed at Trent.  We reported everything that had transpired throughout the last week and how Trent was feeling.  Pretty much everything he wrote down was positive, except about the sweating and the anger.  He suggested trying Valium.  Normally they would treat the night sweats with SSRI's (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors)which we know are not good for Trent.  However, Valium has been used to help with the night sweats too, so we are killing two birds with one stone. 

Dr. Gouw really just sat there with a surprised and happy look on his face.  He said he was encouraged and that he couldn't take credit for the overall positive change.  He apologized if he was sort of doom and gloom last time.  We told him that is the nature of the beast and that we learned a long time ago that cancer IS doom and gloom but we had the choice about our outlook.  He agreed and said that he was very impressed with our attitudes and has been the whole time.  It has been the hardest thing we have ever faced and it is NOT easy to be positive, but it is definitely easier than living life with a crappy attitude.  We have shed buckets of tears over this but the peace we need so badly always comes.   And then, life goes on.

Trent did Round 20 today and there will be one more round before scans on the 8th of February.  We are so grateful for all of the prayers, and especially grateful that they are being answered.  We still have a long way to go but today was positive and we are going to celebrate that!